Beowulf: The 3D Imax Experience Review

I'm lucky enough to be blessed with an IMAX theatre just a few minutes down the road. Last night, I took in Beowulf: The 3D IMAX Experience. All I can say is "Holy Crap!"

If Rankin-Bass and Guillermo del Toro did a moving pop-up book version of Clash of the Titans, it would be Beowulf.

Remember the first time you saw The Matrix? Or Lord of the Rings? Or even Final Fantasy? Imagine somehow seeing them all at the same time... that's sort of what Beowulf felt like.

If every action hero that Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger ever played was rolled into one, and that one character slaughtered everyone in The Chronicles of Narnia... that's Beowulf.

If 300 was even more manly... so manly that it was 600... that's Beowulf.

It was just a great roller coaster thrill ride. I know that sounds cliche', but what else can I say? The new 3D technology is nothing short of breathtaking, and this was the perfect movie for it, to say nothing of the fact that I saw it on a screen 10 times larger than most peoples imagination. If you do not have an IMAX theater in your area... please, do yourself a favor and at least see it in 3D. It's the only treatment this movie deserves, and you owe it to yourself. It's not just a movie, it's an experience.

If studios are worried about slumping ticket sales and threatened by dvds, then they should release more movies (at least, more action movies) in 3D. This will put people in theaters. I walked out of that movie last night pledging to see every movie ever released in 3D, even if they looked like the sucked! Hell, you could put Beaches in 3D, with Bette Midler's snarling horse face bigger than life and twice as ugly, and I'd probably still enjoy it. (gosh, I hope Bette Midler never reads this blog - my face would be so red!)

Anyway... back to Beowulf. I've read a few reviews that dogged the story, saying that the movie is all sizzle and no substance. Bull. Those people are raving lunatics. No, it isn't the most complicated story I've ever heard of, but here's the thing - it's not just an epic action tale, it's THE epic action tale. This story dates back to sometime between the 8th and 11th century, if it's still around after all this time, clearly it's got something going for it. Not to mention, if it's that old, odds are it's going to seem a little simple to our 21st century tastes. No, there's not a lot of crazy plot twists or surprises, it's just a good old-fashioned honest epic. There's nothing wrong with that.

The animation (if that's really the right word) is amazing. There's a lot of emotion in these characters, partly because the cast is freakin' fantastic, partly because the CGI/rotoscoping/whatever it's called captured their performances so well. Crispin Glover as Grendel is absolutely heartbreaking and terrifying at the same time. The only thing that kind of took me out of the movie a bit was Angelina Jolie as his mother. Her performance was fine, but ... well, you could kind of tell that the king was Anthony Hopkins, and you could sort of see that John Malkovich was the king's advisor, but Grendel's mother just looked like a monster with Angelina Jolie's face plastered on it. Not that I don't like looking at a naked Angelina Jolie with a scorpion tail, mind you... but like I said, it kind of took me out of the movie a bit.

Long story short - it's awesome. If you like action and sword n' sorcery tales, you've really got no excuse for missing this movie. Go see it, and for god's sake, see it in 3D!