El Puerquito Magnifico's Pigpen

Learning Letters With Elmo - DVD Review

2011-08-11T08:55:00.001-07:00

The latest release from Warner Home Video and Sesame Workshop, the nonprofit educational organization behind Sesame Street, makes learning F-U-N as Elmo guides preschoolers through early literacy skills in the classic manner that fans of the long-running television program have become accustomed to - which means plenty of engaging stories, silly songs and funny characters. I mean, how can you not have a blast learning when you’ve got a bunch of Muppets leading the class?

Read the rest of my review at TV Geek Army ...

Transformers: the Japanese Collection - Headmasters - DVD Review

2011-08-11T08:48:00.000-07:00

When reviewing a release such as Transformers: the Japanese Collection - Headmasters, I feel somewhat obligated to offer up my own personal history with the robots in disguise: partly because it’s fun and also to let you know where I stand in regards to my obsession or, depending on your level of devotion, lack thereof.

Like any child of the ‘80s, I grew up with and loved the Transformers. I played with the toys and enjoyed the half-hour animated commercials keenly disguised as a television program. I knew the names, I attempted to memorize the stats on the back of the package and I even made the “kee-kchooo –koo-koo-choo” noise when I transformed my toys in an attempt to emulate one of the greatest sound effects my young mind had ever known.

Read the rest of my review at TV Geek Army

The A-Team Blu-Ray review

2010-12-16T06:22:00.000-08:00

“It is what it is.” There exists no phrase, which more aptly describes both the A-Team film that was released in the summer of 2010 and the 1980s television series upon which it is based. It simply is what it is (how could it be anything different?) and you’re either onboard the train or you remain hopelessly tied to the tracks, waiting to be run over by a locomotive of awesomeness.

You know the story, right? An elite team of Army Rangers is convicted by a military court for a crime they did not commit and they promptly escape to become soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, blah, blah, blah. The film version of the A-Team updates the story to the Gulf War and actually shows us not only how the team was formed, but that ill-fated black ops mission that led to their dishonorable discharges. The characters are familiar, the tone is tongue-in-cheek and the action is so over the top, they actually had to construct a new top, which was subsequently obliterated during filming. Seriously, folks… they barrel roll a helicopter.

As a child of the ‘80s, I find myself unable to avoid comparisons to the television series upon which the film is based. Like many of you, I am of a generation that grew up obsessed with the A-Team and like many of you, I have found the show to be somewhat lacking upon revisitation. It’s formulaic, it’s cliché and oftentimes, it’s downright stupid. But damn if it isn’t badass! The movie follows a similar path but manages to “turn it up to eleven”, as they say… or at least, it "tries" to, but it ends up blowing the speakers out and has to find an alternate power source. It’s just that awesome.

Here’s the thing: this is a movie that doesn’t just feature one-dimensional, cliché characters and situations; it revels in them. It fully embraces the fun of the television series and amps it up to big screen proportions. Face (Bradley Cooper) is the ultimate smooth-talking ladies man. Murdock (Sharlto Copley) is certifiably insane and played for laughs in a manner quite similar to the original series. B.A. Baracus (Quinton "Rampage" Jackson) is beyond badass and Hannibal Smith (Liam Neeson) is the man with the plan and damn if he doesn’t love it when that plan comes together. These guys are proficient in all manner of weaponry, subterfuge and building tanks out of stuff they found in a scrap yard. They’re the baddest of the bad and they even make rottweilers whimper and cry.

Adding to the excitement is the fact that the characters in the movie seem just as thrilled to be taking part in the escapades as I was to watch them. Whenever something amazing happens, such as the aforementioned helicopter barrel roll or attempting to steer a tank as it plummets from the wreckage of an airplane blown up mid-flight by repeatedly firing the cannon, someone onscreen will actually take time to howl and make reference to how incredibly ridiculous and utterly, unbelievably amazing the situation is. It exists in a very comic book reality where the laws of physics and logic are thrown out the window and everyone speaks with witty banter and continually spout hackneyed (though often inspiring) adages. In short, if you take yourself too seriously, don’t bother. If you like having fun and you enjoyed the old A-Team, why not give the new one a try? I had a smile on my face from the first frame to the last.

The downfalls? Well, Liam Neeson doesn’t seem quite capable of mastering an American accent and the love story between Face and former flame DCIS Captain Charissa Sosa (Jessica Biel) is a bit stale. There are a few lousy jokes that’ll make you cringe. But what can you do? It’s a Hollywood flick and it’s gonna have it’s Hollywood moments. The good news is that they’re few and far between and the good more than outweighs the bad in this one. And overall, who really cares? It’s the A-Team. Did you watch the TV series? It ain’t Shakespeare, folks. But it is fun. What’s one really bad joke in a sea of mostly bad jokes?

Oddly enough, the film it reminded me of the most was 1995’s The Brady Bunch Movie. Like that film, The A-Team found a way to pay loving homage to the series, which inspired it while gently poking fun at it at the same time. This movie acknowledges its roots and knows exactly what it is and exactly whom it’s aiming at. As the Harley Davidson t-shirt says, “If I have to explain, you wouldn’t understand.”

The Blu-Ray features a healthy dose of extras including an extended cut, which I didn’t bother watching. Sorry, I was so excited that I felt the need to sit down and write this review as quickly as possible as a way to relive the glory of the film. Anyway, the extended cut has about 30 minutes of extra footage that I assume isn’t necessarily any more violent or risque, but was simply cut for time constraints. It’s a two-hour movie – it really didn’t need to be any longer. I promise I’ll watch it tomorrow and besides, if you’ve read this far, you’re probably going to buy it anyway.

There’s also a nifty feature called “The Devil’s In the Details” which allows you to watch the film with commentary from director Joe Carnahan detailing the weaponry used by the team as well as behind-the-scenes info on how the special effects were created. There are little character bios and a gag reel and even montage of highlights from the film set to the original A-Team theme song. It’s like watching the opening credits to the TV show you wish actually existed. Now that’s pretty awesome!

It was apparent watching this film that Joe Carnahan had a plan to capture the true spirit and essence of the A-Team series. To make a movie that wasn’t simply a film version of an old TV show, but a chronicle of your childhood memories of the A-Team. It’s got all the explosions, the tank building, the camaraderie and the humor of the original series and then some. Joe Carnahan had a plan, and I love the fact that his plan came together.

Okay… so that was a little forced, but can you blame me? I had to work it in there somewhere.

Article first published as Blu-Ray Review: The A-Team on Blogcritics.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MR. LAWRENCE - Blu-Ray Review

2010-10-24T20:22:00.001-07:00

Based on the experiences of Laurens van der Post, chronicled in his novels “The Seed and the Sower” (1963) and “The Night of the New Moon” (1970), Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence (1983) tells the story of British soldiers interned by the Japanese as prisoners of war during World War II and the culture clash which ensues. The film focuses on four men: on the Japanese side of things, we have Captain Yonoi and Sergent Hara. The British gentlemen in question are new prisoner Jack Celliers (known for being a “soldier’s soldier”) and Lieutenant Colonel John Lawrence. Yonoi is the camp comandant who develops a peculiar fascination with the rebellious Celliers while friendship develops between the seemingly brutal Hara and Mr. Lawrence, due in large part to Lawrence’s ability to speak fluent Japanese and attempts to understand their culture.

The main focus of the film is on the startling differences between the Japanese and British view of honor, discipline, loyalty and glory. The strict code that the Japanese adhere to has Yonoi and Hara viewing the British soldiers as cowards – honor demands that they kill themselves rather than submit to the enemy. An incident of sexual abuse involving a Dutch prisoner and a Korean guard sets off an ethical debate between Hara and Lawrence which continues throughout the film, just as Lawrence is put at odds with the stubborn British camp captain, who sees Lawrence as a traitor for his attempts to understand and explain the Japanese way of life. Meanwhile, Yonoi’s interest in the rebellious Jack Celliers deepens into an almost erotic obsession. It’s a love/hate relationship between all four men in this very layered and brutally intense tale.

The film was directed by Nagisa Oshima, who apparently is a big deal in Japan. I’ve never heard of the guy, but watching the film, along with the hours and hours of extras that are included in this Criterion Collection Blu-Ray, I understand why he is so revered. The man doesn’t shy away from tough subject matter; rather, he shines a rather intense spotlight on it. The film itself is unflinching and raw while leaving enough to the imagination to inspire hours of discussion and debate about its themes. Especially helpful are the previously mentioned extras. “The Oshima Gang” is a 1983 making-of featurette and “Hasten Slowly” is an hour-long documentary about Laurens van der Post, whose autobiographical novels supplied the basis of the film. Brand new interviews with the screenwriter, producer and stars shed new light on what went on behind the scenes. Basically, it provides exactly what you’d expect a Criterion Blu-Ray to provide – exhaustingly indepth insight. If you’re a fan of Nagisa Oshima… well, you’ve probably already picked it up for its high definition restoration alone. But anyone interested in film, from casual film buff to analytical student, will be delighted by not only the film but the extras as well.

I suppose I can’t write a review without mentioning David Bowie. He’s one of the stars and though I heard a few sour reviews regarding his performance, I didn’t find any problem with it save for the fact that judging by his haircut, he must’ve stepped directly from the set of the “Let’s Dance” video to the film shoot. It was a little out of place. Nevertheless, I felt he was perfectly cast as Jack Celliers, as was his opposite, Japanese mucisian Ryuichi Sakamoto (Yonoi) who also provided the haunting score. Hell, everybody in this movie was perfectly cast, right down to the last POW and their guards. The movie wasn’t exactly a Saturday night popcorn flick, but if you’re looking for something thought-provoking and unsettling, “Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence” is your film.

The Blu-Ray also contains the original theatrical trailer and a 120-page booklet packed with essays and interviews on the film. It’s been restored and remastered and is presented in 1.78:1 aspect ratio, which means nothing to me as a layman, but ought to be important to film buffs.

C is for COOKIE MONSTER - DVD review

2010-10-23T07:17:00.000-07:00

I’m a parent and if you’re reading this review of Sesame Workshop and Warner Home Video’s latest DVD release, “C is for Cookie Monster”, then I’ll assume you are too. So you know how it goes, right? The holidays are on their way and you’ve got a long drive ahead of you in order to make sure grandma and grandpa can spoil your kids with gifts, cookies and holiday cheer. That drive was bad enough before the kids were born but now it’s nearly unbearable. At least, it was. But that was before you bought that portable DVD player. Now everyone is content, for the most part. You might not be able to crank up Black Sabbath as loud as you used to and your throat is hoarse after singing “The Farmer in the Dell” for the 1,000th time… but at least the kids aren’t crying.

Enter the Cookie Monster. A staple of children’s television who has been around since long before your own childhood, the Cookie Monster is one of the most beloved Muppets to grace the small screen and now he has his very own 50-minute DVD which collects a number of new skits and old favorites. Included in this collection are short stories such as “The Cookie Tree” and the tale of Cookie Hood in which another blue monster (this one with a British accent and a mustache) shows up on Sesame Street and begins stealing cookies and our poor lovable Cookie Monster gets the blame. Imagine Cookie Monster with a cultured manner and a mustache… it’s awesome. Remember Monsterpiece Theater? There’s an episode on here, featuring a retelling of “Little Red Riding Hood”. How about “Me Lost Me Cookie at the Disco”? Yup, that one’s on here too. This DVD has even got a weird cover of Isaac Hayes’ “Shaft” in which Cookie Monster sports an afro. Seriously. Oh yeah, and it’s also got Cookie Monster’s young cousin – you thought he was cute as an adult? Imagine him as a little girl. Freakin’ adorable. For those worried about their children adopting bad eating habits, Cookie Monster explains that cookies are just a “sometimes food” and that even though he’s clearly an addict, he’s got it (relatively) under control and maintains a healthy diet of fruits, vegetables and all that stuff. Nevertheless, you can’t have a Cookie Monster DVD if you don’t include the legendary “C is for Cookie” song. It’s kind of a must and you don’t have to fear; there’s a remixed version on this DVD.

So here’s the deal: this is a pretty fun collection. The thing about Cookie Monster is that he’s actually really funny. Even as an adult, I find him to be quite amusing, especially after being forced to endure hours and hours of Elmo. Clearly the inspiration for guys like Bobcat Goldthwait or Sam Kinison, Cookie Monster is totally manic. He’s also a whole lot funnier than either of the comedians I just mentioned, but you didn’t really need me to tell you that. Seriously folks, in a world full of Dora the Explorer and Wonder Pets, isn’t it nice to relax with an old favorite? To rekindle old friendships and see your children experience the same joy as you did and feel safe knowing that they’re actually learning something? Do I actually need to convince you that this DVD is awesome and that you should buy it? It’s the freakin’ Cookie Monster! Of course it’s awesome!

On the other hand, nearly an hour of Cookie Monster strains the limits of how much of the furry blue monster one can handle. I’ll let you be the judge. But I guarantee your preschooler will love it.

Article first published as DVD Review: Sesame Street - C is for Cookie Monster on Blogcritics.

ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK - BLU-RAY + DVD - REVIEW

2010-08-11T04:57:00.000-07:00

Nearly three decades after it’s theatrical release, the cult classic and highly influential masterpiece “Escape From New York” (1981) has finally seen the light of day in Blu-Ray format. Fans of the film will rejoice at the prospect of viewing this film in 1080p widescreen format with 5.1 DTS-HD sound… or in layman’s terms, “this movie looks and sounds better than it ever has before”. Being a low budget film shot mostly at night, “Escape From New York” might not seem like the optimum film to be converted to Blu-Ray, but I’m happy to say that in this case, it works very well - largely because the grit and grime of the film is still intact. It’s been cleaned up, but not so much that it loses the visual flavor that have helped make it so appealing as one of the finest B-movies ever made.

That being said, one of the downsides to cleaning up a film that didn’t quite have the bankroll of a major studio behind it is that some of the cheesier effects wind up looking twice as cheesy this time around. A matte painting that might’ve served as an effective backdrop in a previous edition now stands out as a glaringly obvious false setting and there are a few special effects that made me wince. On the other hand, some of this actually adds to the appeal, giving the film a much more surreal, comic book style, which suits the tone rather well in the opinion of this reviewer.

On to the movie itself. While others would argue that “Halloween” is John Carpenter’s masterpiece, I would put “Escape From New York” second only to “The Thing” when ranking the director's body of work. To call it iconic is an understatement and to refer to its hero, Snake Plissken, as the quintessential badass doesn’t come close to describing how incredibly awesome this character is. You can have your Han Solo and your Man With No Name; Snake Plissken could wipe the floor with ‘em and not even break a sweat. He is the anti-hero personified and “Escape From New York” is one of those touchstone genre films of the early 1980s.

Set in a dystopian future in which Manhattan has been walled off and turned into a maximum security prison, a group of radicals has kidnapped the President of the United States and intend on using him as a human shield in order to make a mass exodus. With WWIII on the wane, the President is required to attend a three-way summit with the Soviet Union and China. The fate of the world is at stake and former U.S. Army Lieutenant-turned-hardened criminal Snake Plissken is brought in to save him. There’s a lot more to the story, including double-crossing, Isaac Hayes, Adrienne Barbeau’s boobs (which seem to have a mind of their own and insist on leaping out of her dress) and more badassery than you can shake a stick at, but you really ought to just watch the movie for yourself. And if you’ve already seen it, you know you love it, so let me reassure you one final time: yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and yes, “Escape From New York” still holds up after all these years.

Oh what’s that? You’re not convinced? Well then, let me throw three more words at you: Lee Van Cleef. That’s right, this movie threatens to literally explode with badassery. We’ve also got Harry Dean Stanton, Ernest Borgnine, and the distinctly beautiful minimalist soundtrack provided by Mr. John Carpenter himself. If you need to take a moment to process all of this awesomeness, go ahead. This review will still be here when you get back.

Okay, so on to the bad (and despite everything I’ve just said, there’s plenty of it). Remember when this movie was released on DVD a few years ago with all sorts of supplemental material including commentary tracks, behind-the-scenes features, and deleted scenes? None of that is included on this collection. The only “bonus” we get is the original trailer for the film, which is included on the DVD and to make matters worse, the DVD is one of those ones you flip over: one side has the film in widescreen format, the other is fullscreen. Really? Who watches fullscreen movies anymore? How is this considered a bonus feature? Why is the DVD even included, and for the love of God, how can MGM justify making people spend $24.95 for it?!?!

For as much as I love “Escape From New York” and as much as I might implore you to view it, I cannot condone this atrocity. It’s a clear money-grab intended to milk suckers who will double-dip if and when a more fitting collector's edition is released down the road and I find it quite shameful. My recommendation: if you don’t care about the lack of bonus material, go ahead and buy it on Amazon where you can get it for under $15. Obviously, it’s a movie that is well worth adding to your collection, but this release does not do the film justice.

Article first published as Blu-Ray Review: Escape From New York on Blogcritics.

THE DUNGEON MASTERS - DVD Review

2010-07-28T05:07:00.000-07:00

In 1974, the game industry was forever changed with the release of Dungeons & Dragons. While not the first role-playing game in existence, D&D has defined role-playing ever since it’s introduction and has become synonymous with the term. Most games are merely played… others are lived. Obsessive sports fans memorize stats and live out their dreams as armchair quarterbacks or on the imagined field of the internet via fantasy football, but fans of dice-based role-playing games tend to take it a bit further. “The Dungeon Masters” follows three such fans and gives viewers an inside look at how a game can alter a life both for better and for worse.

Given the reputation of most gamers as bespectacled nerds with no social skills, it might seem easy to simply mock the subjects of this film, but director Kevin McAllester instead chooses to show them not as stereotypes, but as real human beings with real problems. Of course, the fact is that the subjects of this film happen to be bespectacled folks who showcase a genuine lack of social graces, which leads to something of a “chicken or the egg” dilemma. One of the gamers featured in the film comes from a broken home with an alcoholic father. Another has recently escaped an abusive relationship and has trouble finding love. All have trouble cementing real friendships and functioning in the world and wind up seeking solace in the fantasy realms offered by role-playing games.

On one hand, gaming offers these people an escape from the trials and tribulations of their everyday lives. On the other, it becomes something of a trap, where feelings of helplessness translate into empowerment that eventually lead to further alienation. A meek sanitation worker becomes a power-hungry dungeon master on the weekends and winds up losing his circle of friends because of it. Most interesting is the case of Elizabeth, who can conjure up a spell of teleportation but can’t seem to conjure up a meaningful relationship. While most women complain that men are only interested in their bodies and don’t care at all about their minds, Elizabeth finds that the men she dates tend to be more attracted to her hobbies, and the fact that she can recite D&D rules and drop mad comic book knowledge, than her personality. It’s an odd twist on a universal theme that isn’t made any less sad by the fact that she’s wearing full face makeup and pointy ears as she recants the tale.

Being a pretty hardcore geek myself, I am fascinated with geek culture in every form it takes, from the fellows at the comic shop waxing philosophical about Silver Age comics to the people featured in this film. I’ve enjoyed other similar documentaries, such as “King of Kong”, “Trekkies” and “Darkon” (which also focuses on role-playing and is in many ways a superior bookend to “The Dungeon Masters”). I simply enjoy watching people be people and I especially enjoy making comparisons between my own geek tendencies and the folks in films such as this one and the others I’ve mentioned. If observing people is your bag, you oughtta check this movie out, because you’ll be hard pressed to find a more interesting bunch.

The strength of “The Dungeon Masters” is that it shows its subjects as human beings, struggling to overcome the challenges of their daily lives both through and despite their addiction to tabletop gaming. Its weakness is that it does not paint a broad enough picture of the phenomenon and it’s loyal devotees. While it doesn’t openly mock or seek to humiliate its subjects, the filmmakers didn’t take the opportunity to show us the atypical gamer. Are there any dedicated gamers who are successful in life and don’t lack the basic skills needed to form solid relationships? Are there any hardcore Dungeon Masters who aren’t overweight, don’t wear glasses and whose lives aren’t wrought with tragedy? Further, “The Dungeon Masters”, as fascinating as it may be, tends to gloss over a lot of the interesting questions that are brought up throughout the telling of the tales. Whether this is a failing on the part of the filmmakers or simply the effect of dealing with tight-lipped subjects, I felt like there was a lot of stones left unturned and a lot of questions left unanswered.

Regardless of my nitpicking, I enjoyed “The Dungeon Masters” thoroughly and would recommend it to fans of both documentaries and geek/nerd culture. While not as indepth as the aforementioned “Darkon”, it is definitely more entertaining and paints an interesting picture of a small group of fanatics and the problems that ensue when fantasy and real life meet.

Saturday Morning Cartoons: The 1980s - DVD Review

2010-05-02T11:42:00.001-07:00

Finally, the one we’ve all been waiting for has arrived and Warner Brothers has given couch potatoes of the Me Generation the gift of Saturday Morning Cartoons: 1980’s. It’s an eclectic mix aimed at a wide range of ages, from the wee youngins to the older set and gives a pretty fair, though not nearly complete, look at what we were watching on Saturday mornings before our parents kicked us out of the house and forced us to (gasp!) actually go play outside for a while.

Looking back on my youth, the influence of Dungeons & Dragons was quite prevalent and can be seen throughout this entire volume. Dragon’s Lair, based on the popular video game, approaches the genre from a more slapstick side, featuring a bumbling hero who relies on luck more often than skill or razor sharp wits. Galtar and the Golden Lance is a more traditional sword n’ sorcery tale and looks like something of a hybrid between He-Man and King Arthur. The Biskitts is a blatant Smurfs knockoff featuring little puppies in medieval clothing who live in a hidden castle deep within the forest and are always outwitting King Max, sort of a redneck Gargamel.

And of course, the crown jewel is Thundarr the Barbarian. For those of you unfamiliar with this classic, imagine if Planet of the Apes had a baby with Star Wars and the baby was raised by He-Man. Then, when the child reached maturity, Frank Frazetta was comissioned to paint a portrait to hang on his mantle. THAT is Thundarr and it is a thing of sheer beauty. Since Thundarr remains unavailable on DVD (save for the overpriced and illegal bootleg you might find at a comic convention), seeing even one episode of the series is worth the price of this collection.

Speaking of crown jewels, there is another treat that makes Saturday Morning Cartoons: The 1980s completely worth buying, and that is an episode of the Mr. T cartoon. If you wanted to sum my recollection of the 80’s up in 22 minutes, it may very well be this show. Featuring a live-action introduction from T himself, the series boasts a multiracial team of teenage gymnasts who travel around the world solving crimes. There’s also a dog with a mohawk and a little red haired kid who does his best to emulate Mr. T. But as T says in this episode, “He can only try to be me, ‘cause I’m me now and I’m gonna be me in the future.” Like this amazing cartoon, Mr. T is one of a kind.

And what would the 80’s be without cheap knockoffs? Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos is like a poor man’s version of Mr. T, with live-action framing sequences meant to teach a moral and a racially diverse cast. While Mr. T’s show is original and scores points for the sheer oddity of the concept, Karate Kommandos feels like a rip-off of a million other action cartoons that came before. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the inclusion of this episode, as I have actually never seen an episode before.

Rounding out the action/adventure side of the collection is Goldie Gold and Action Jack, an odd show that feels like a pulp-influenced female version of Richie Rich. Like Richie, Goldie’s wealth is so immense that nothing is out of her price range. Everything she owns, from her personal space shuttle to her satellite retreat, is decked out in the gold which is her namesake. Goldie is the owner of the Gold Street Journal and together with investigative reporter Jack Travis, she seeks out adventure, solves mysteries and fights crime. It’s actually a pretty interesting show and as a comic book fan, it was pretty cool to see the name of Steve Gerber, creator of Howard the Duck, listed in the credits as a writer.

But what would a Saturday morning in the ‘80s be without a toy tie-in? Here, The Monchichis fill that role. The show is sickeningly sweet and features a group of tree-dwelling simians whose sole purpose in life is to make things happy for everyone. Naturally, this puts them at odds with the Grumplins, who are basically little evil versions of the Monchichis that seek to end their joyful days and put frowns on everyones faces.

Continuing the tradition of adorability is The Flintsone Kids, which continues the time honored tradition of taking characters we know and love, reducing them to children and eliminating all of the charm that made the characters so great in the first place. The Mental Misadventures of Ed Grimley is stylistically quite interesting, but ultimately not very funny. The final cartoon included on this collection is The Kwicky Koala Show, a variety show that feels like a throwback to the classic Hanna Barbera or Loony Tunes cartoons of the past and features a huge cast of characters headlined by Kwicky Koala himself. Kwicky is basically a rehash of Droopy, only he’s fast moving rather than slow. He’s also pretty darn funny.

As a final treat, there is a brief documentary about Thundarr the Barbarian which gives us a behind-the-scenes look at the making of the show as well as discussing its influences and the impact it left behind. Comic book and animation legends such as Alex Toth and Jack Kirby worked on the show and Ruby-Spears aimed at an older crowd, featuring complex characters and storylines – no doubt the reason why the show is still so revered today.

Long story short: Saturday Morning Cartoons: 1980’s has a little something for everybody and should please any animation aficionado who grew up in that era. If you fall into that category, it’s a must have for your collection.

Bert & Ernie's Great Adventures - DVD Review

2010-04-12T08:54:00.000-07:00

Everyone’s favorite Muppet duo partner up once again for a series of all-new adventures this spring as Warner Home Video and Sesame Workshop bring us "Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures". No longer confined to their bedroom and finally gaining bodies that exist below the waist, Bert and Ernie take preschoolers on fantastic journeys to the Wild West, the Arctic circle, and outer space. They even travel through time and hang out with some cavemen! It’s all in the name of good fun "and" a good education, as there is a lesson to be learned in each adventure. There’s no puppetry (or would that be Muppetry?) involved here; in " Great Adventures", the beloved roommates appear as claymation creations, which allows them to take part in some of the most outlandish sojourns one could imagine.

Personally, I’m a big fan of this series. Having grown up with "Sesame Street", I relish every opportunity to watch the show with my daughter and pass on not only my love of the characters, but the joy of learning. Like many parents, I’m not always big on Elmo or the new breed of "Sesame Street" regulars, so I think it’s awesome to see my old favorites getting some air time. Some might argue with the idea of using claymation rather than the old-fashioned puppet-on-a-stick method, but " Great Adventures" definitely stays true to the spirit of "Sesame Street" and continues the rich tradition that has been building for 40 years. The characters are true to their live-action counterparts, with Bert always playing it safe and fearing anything that might take him outside his safety zone while Ernie acts as the comedic foil, always pushing Bert to try new experiences and new challenges. Sure, they might be in outer space encountering a race of aliens who bear a suspicious resemblance to Bert’s pointy head, but a rubber duckie is the same on any planet, dig? So you can rest assured that the Bert and Ernie depicted on this DVD are the very same ones you grew up with, even with they’re made of clay instead of foam and felt.

The DVD runs about 50 minutes and features 11 short episodes, so you don’t have to worry about taxing your child’s attention span or becoming bored with it midway through. They’re just long enough to tell a complete story and just short enough to get it over with before you get tired of watching it. But the beauty is that you won’t get sick of it! This show is legitimately entertaining, albeit aimed at a much, much younger audience than most of the television programs you’re probably watching. Then again, if you’ve got kids who are into "Sesame Street", you’re probably not watching much television anyway, are you? If you’re familiar with "Sesame Street" and you’ve seen this segment, then you know what I’m talking about when I tell you that it has one of the catchiest theme songs ever and you’ll be humming it long after you’ve turned the DVD off.

So you know it’s fun, but at this point, you’re probably wondering about the educational value. It’s "Sesame Street" – do you really need to ask? " Great Adventures" tends to shy away from recognizing the alphabet and learning to count and instead puts the focus on problem-solving abilities and social skills. A great majority of the episodes deal with the life lessons that Bert and Ernie teach each other as well as showcasing values such as loyalty, respect, and tolerance. Like I said, it’s "Sesame Street". You know what to expect by now and they don’t disappoint.

At nearly an hour in length and retailing for $12.99, "Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures" is money well spent. It’s a treat for the whole family, whether you’re spending it inside on a rainy day or on a long car ride to grandma’s place. Educational, fun and (most importantly for parents) not annoying. You can’t go wrong with "Sesame Street"’s dynamic duo.

Saturday Morning Cartoons 1960's volume 2

2009-11-02T07:08:00.000-08:00

Warner Brothers bring us another volume of animated classics from the golden age of Saturday mornings and sugary cereals, the 1960’s. Its two discs full of anthropomorphic heroes, theme songs that you just can’t get out of your head and at times, straight-up weirdness. At 299 minutes, there are enough cartoons in this collection to last several Saturdays.

Some highlights include classics like the Bugs Bunny Show, Porky Pig and the Road Runner as well as Magilla Gorilla and Touché Turtle. There are a few oddballs on here as well: Space Kidettes features a group of adorable tots living in a space capsule who constantly outwit Captain Skyhook, who is apparently a space pirate of sorts. Young Samson is reminiscent of He-Man and Captain Marvel, with a teenager and his dog transforming into a powerhouse superhero and his pet lion. And of course, there’s The Adventures of Gulliver, which comes across as the bastard offspring of Scooby Doo, the Smurfs and Johnny Quest.

Okay, here’s the skinny: If you’re a baby boomer looking to relive your youth, this is a fantastic collection. If you’re an animation aficionado looking to expand your tastes, this is an excellent sampler and an affordable way to get a brief glimpse of a lot of different cartoons. If you’ve got children and you want to shut them up without having to sit through crap like Barney or the Fresh Beat Band, this set is definitely for you. And of course, if you’re totally stoned out of your mind, you’ll like it.

If you don’t fall into any of these categories, it boils down to a whole lotta “meh”.
Sure, you’re pretty much guaranteed to laugh at least once during any given episode of any given show included on this disc, but you’re also guaranteed to roll your eyes a lot when faced with the extraordinary amount of formulaic concepts. Almost every cartoon boils down to one of three concepts: a witless hero and his possibly retarded sidekick, a witless hero and his vastly more intelligent sidekick, or a cool-as-hell hero and his merry band of idiots. The second disc is practically unnecessary, as it just rehashes a bunch of the same cartoons on the first disc.
Yes, there are a handful of great cartoons on here like a couple shorts featuring Sylvester and Tweety, a little bit of Road Runner and a lone episode of Tom and Jerry; but if you’re a fan of these characters, chances are you’ve probably bought collections of their work and you don’t need this set. There’s weird stuff like the aforementioned Gulliver, but it’s really only funny once.

All-in-all, I found myself none too impressed, but it’s more because of the content than the concept. As someone who loved making mix tapes for my friends (and someone who still enjoys making mix discs in the 21st century), I am a HUGE fan of the idea of tossing a bunch of cartoons from a particular era on a couple of discs with no rhyme or reason. As it turns out, I just don’t like cartoons from the 1960’s. However, if you do enjoy this era of animation, you’ll probably dig this set.

Here's a clip.

Batman: The Brave & The Bold volume 2 - DVD Review

2009-10-27T09:12:00.000-07:00

The Caped Crusader is back in another collection of animated outings. Eschewing the grim n’ gritty Batman of recent years, The Brave and the Bold embraces an incarnation of the Dark Knight that most fans and writers choose to forget. Harkening back to the 1950’s era of a smiling Batman who traveled time and was just as likely to fight dinosaurs and ghosts as he was mobsters, this popular series has made Batman fun again and introduced him to a whole new generation of fans.

Not only does Batman: The Brave and the Bold introduce Batman to a legion of new fans, it also introduces a bevy of other characters from DC Comics. That’s how the series works: in every episode, Batman teams with another costumed crimefighter in order to solve whatever crime is at hand. We not only get a whole bunch of cool heroes, we also get a whole bunch of different interpretations of Batman. This DVD collection finds Batman acting as a mentor to the teenage Blue Beetle, helping the young hero find his way. We see the Caped Crusader give guidance and advice to Wildcat, an aging hero looking for a new path. And of course, there’s Batman’s ever-present rivalry with Green Arrow. The two act almost like sparring brothers: constantly trying to one-up each other.

In addition to the more mainstream heroes presented on this show, each episode opens with a brief segment featuring more obscure characters like B’wana Beast, Kamandi or Guy Gardener who also threaten to steal the show from our hero. And it’s all done with a combination of dry wit and psychedelic style that will please children and old-school comic book fans alike. The great thing about Batman: The Brave and the Bold is that despite its cartoony animation style and sense of humor, it also features some really good scripts. While the style might be reminiscent of a more simplistic era in sequential art, it’s got stories and dialogue that’s written well enough for any adult to appreciate.

But it’s not for everyone. Fans who can’t handle an all-ages version of Batman will want to stay away. Comic book readers who can’t handle the fact that their favorite characters might also appeal to children will want to steer clear of this show and anyone who takes themselves too seriously will probably be happier watching old episodes of Batman: the Animated Series. But if you’re a parent who wants to introduce their kids to their favorite costumed crimefighter or if you’re just a superhero fan who appreciates a good time, then this is the show for you.
The four episodes contained on this DVD collection are:

Day of the Dark Knight, a medieval tale featuring Green Arrow, the Demon and Merlin the Magician.
Enter the Outsiders, in which Batman shows an old dog new tricks and guides a team of teenage metahumans that sometimes raging against the machine is counterproductive.
Dawn of the Dead Man, an episode in which Batman almost meets his maker and teaches Deadman that he can still have a purpose without having a pulse.
Fall of the Blue Beetle, which delves into the history of the men who have been known by the name of Blue Beetle and shows a young man doing his best to live up to a legacy of greatness.

All-in-all, it’s a collection worthy of a special place on the DVD shelf of superhero fans of any age.

Tom & Jerry's Greatest Chases volume 3

2009-10-14T09:49:00.000-07:00

Since 1940, children have thrilled to the (literal) cat n’ mouse games of the masters of mayhem known as Tom and Jerry. In 2009, children and animation fans continue to enjoy their mischievous antics as countless collections of shorts are compiled, released and re-released on DVD. Tom and Jerry’s Greatest Chases volume 3 continues the proud tradition of cherry picking a few shorts from here and a few more from there and slapping them all together for your enjoyment.

There are 14 animated shorts in this collection, including the Academy Award-winning Two Mouseketeers and its Oscar-nominated follow up, Touché, Pussy Cat! They aren’t presented in any sort of historical context or chronological order. The transfers look good, but don’t really appear to be restored, retouched or anything like that; unless you count the fact that they appear to be at least somewhat edited. I know there were plenty of racist jokes in those old cartoons that had to be edited out of this collection. So if you’re a collector who wants that stuff preserved for posterity, this disc isn’t for you. If you’re a parent who just wants to show their kid some good old fashioned violence and not have to worry about a bunch of negative stereotypes, you’re cool.

It’s a pretty bare bones package. Animation historians or the sort that demands their cartoon collections archived with in-depth booklets detailing the behind-the-scenes information of the creation of these animated classics will likely be disappointed. If you crave extras, interviews, sketches and gossip, this collection will leave you hanging. But if you just want some good cartoons, you’re in luck because these ones are awesome.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the duration of your entire lifetime, I don’t need to tell you how fantastically funny these cartoons are. Here’s the deal: Tom is a cat who is easily annoyed. Jerry is a troublemaking little mouse. They fight. And fight. And fight and fight and fight. There’s a lot of property damage, a few tails slammed in waffle irons and some of the most outrageous violence you’ve ever seen in animation. There are a bevy of Rube Goldberg devices intended for mouse catching, a touch of romance and even a little feline rivalry. In short: it’s loads of fun and will leave you in stitches.

As previously stated, this is not really a compilation for collectors; it’s for parents who want to shut their kids up on road trips. And at the low price of $15 for 101 minutes of entertainment, they can’t be beat. If you just want a good time with a little over an hour and a half of animated excitement, then you can do a whole lot worse than the third volume of Tom and Jerry’s Greatest Chases.

Cartoons include:
Cat NappingThe Flying CatThe Two MouseketeersSmitten KittenBaby ButchDesigns on JerryPecos PestTouché, Pussy Cat!The Flying SorceressBlue Cat BluesThe Night Before ChristmasThe Bowling Alley-CatFine Feathered FriendPuttin’ on the Dog

Babylon A.D. - DVD Review

2009-01-07T10:55:00.001-08:00

Babylon A.D., based on the novel Babylon Babies by Maurice Georges Dantec, is a futuristic tale of politics, religion and cybernetic enhancement. Let me rephrase that; Babylon A.D. gave me the impression that it was supposed to be a futuristic tale of politics, religion and cybernetic enhancement. Really, it’s just a derivative wanna-be Blade Runner with some pretty sweet special effects. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The story tells the tale of Toorop, an American mercenary living in Russia a few years in the future. He accepts a contract from a mobster to transport a teenage girl named Aurora to New York. It’s a dangerous mission, as Russia has basically become a gigantic war-torn slum. The two are accompanied by a nun who has basically raised Aurora since birth.

This is the first time Aurora has been among the human element, and the stress wears on her. She seems to personally experience the anger, frustration and pain of each individual she encounters along the way. She exhibits precognitive abilities and knows how to operate a Soviet-era submarine. It is eventually revealed that she could speak 19 languages at the age of two and has always possessed an uncanny knowledge of things she had never been exposed to. Toorop realizes there’s more to this girl than meets the eye and remains wary of her, but eventually they save each others lives and earn each others trust.

And of course, there’s more, but I won’t spoil it for you in case you want to see the movie. Here’s the deal with this film: it’s not bad, but I get the distinct impression that there’s supposed to be a bit more to it than what I saw. I know the director, Mathieu Kassovitz, expressed a great deal of displeasure with 20th Century Fox and the producers of this film, and it isn’t hard to figure out why. I got the idea that had the movie been about a half an hour longer and had certain elements of the plot been a bit more fleshed out, it could’ve been a really good movie. It’s got a lot really intriguing ideas, and it seems like there’s a lot bubbling under the surface that isn’t really allowed to get free. It’s almost as though Babylon A.D. wants to be a more meaningful movie, but it was unfortunately kept on a short leash and ended up being just another action flick.

But as far as action flicks go, it’s pretty cool. Visually, it’s a great movie: there’s a sense of realness to the cities and the costumes. Everything looks very gritty, dirty and used. The special effects are impressive and the action sequences are quite exciting as well. And I’m shocked to admit that I didn’t even dislike Vin Diesel in this movie! It’s really a shame that the movie seems to have a split-personality. If it had simply been a mindless action movie, it might’ve been a lot of fun. If it had been a more highbrow sci-fi adventure, it might’ve broken some interesting new ground. As it is, it’s somewhere in the middle and it doesn’t end up being very effective at all. I don’t know if the director or the studio is to blame, but something got lost along the way, and it’s really too bad.

The DVD features the usual assortment of behind-the-scenes extras as well as a really interesting animated prequel that lays a bit of groundwork for the movie. It’s worth watching.

Behind Enemy Lines: Colombia - DVD Review

2009-01-05T20:47:00.000-08:00

Okay, I’ll be perfectly honest with you. The only reason I even watched this movie was because it starred Ken Anderson, better known as Mr. Kennedy of World Wrestling Entertainment fame. I hadn’t seen the first two films in the Behind Enemy Lines series and really had no desire to. I didn’t have any desire to watch this movie either, but I’m a big fan of professional wrestling and I figured “Why not?” How bad could it be? I assumed that a worst-case scenario would be me having a good laugh over a bad movie, and the joy of watching stuff blow up. It’s always fun to watch stuff blow up.

I had no idea what I was in for. Behind Enemy Lines: Colombia is really bad. I mean, really bad. I guess I should’ve known: it’s a direct-to-DVD film co-produced by WWE Studios. I’d seen the previous two films produced by WWE Studios (See No Evil and The Condemned), and while they certainly weren’t going to take home any awards, they were entertaining, if mindless, movies. Heck, I actually liked The Condemned! But the third installment in the Behind Enemy Lines franchise is no Condemned. It’s actually somewhere between Iron Eagle IV and Delta Force 3.

The plot concerns a bunch of Navy SEALS on a top-secret mission in Colombia to observe a meeting between government officials and insurgent guerillas. But when the meeting is attacked and a teammate is taken hostage, the SEALS are framed for the crime and left behind by their own government. It was one of those “the government will disavow any knowledge of your existence” kind of missions. So the intrepid team of military specialists have to save their friend, clear their name and fight their way out of hostile territory, and they have to do it quickly, before the war spills onto U.S. soil. Sounds like kind of an interesting plot on paper, but clearly something was lost in the translation.

The first 30 to 40 minutes of this movie basically consists of a bunch of guys in camouflage loading and unloading gear, checking to make sure their rifles work and sending hand signals back and forth. The hand signals and equipment were all authentic. I know this because I watched the plethora of extras on the DVD, the majority of which were vastly more entertaining than the movie itself. It’s the standard extras package: interviews with cast members about the training they went through, a little vignette featuring the demolitions expert and the stunt coordinator, a gag reel and commentary. Definitely worth watching if you buy this movie, are given this movie, or find this movie in the trash.

The second half of the movie is a series of action sequences, corny jokes and laughable dialogue that you’ve seen a million times before in a million other movies, only they were done in a far more interesting fashion in those movies. Even the explosions in this movie look cliché and are even somewhat boring. I found myself falling asleep a lot, or trying to fall asleep. That hasn’t happened since I saw Silent Hill at the dollar theater. I wanted my money back then, and I want my 2 hours back that I spent watching this movie. Or maybe it was only an hour and a half, I can’t remember. It felt like the better part of an afternoon. I actually began to wonder if I was trapped behind enemy lines and this was part of some sort of insidious torture that I was being put through. Thankfully, I made it out alive, thought I’ll probably never be the same again.

In my mind, there’s nothing to really save this flick, but I’m sure it will appeal to some folks. It’s a very bland and generic by-the-numbers military action flick and some people like that. More power to them: I hope they have a good time with this one. God knows I didn’t. For the rest of you, I would only recommend Behind Enemy Lines: Colombia if you are laid up in bed with some sort of illness and there’s absolutely nothing else to watch.

Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget - DVD Review

2008-12-31T06:45:00.000-08:00

If you’re unfamiliar with how a roast works, it goes something like this: the individual being roasted is subjected to praise, insults, outlandish stories and the occasional heartfelt tribute from a group of friends and peers. The implication being that the roastee takes it all in good humor and isn’t really insulted by the whole thing. It’s all just a big joke and is actually quite an honor.

In the case of a Comedy Central Roast, it isn’t just the roastee who gets insulted; everyone who is involved is subjected to the verbal abuse, not just the guest of honor. And in the case of the Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget, the Olsen Twins get their fair share of abuse as well. Actually, Mary-Kate and Ashley got so much abuse that a lot of the jokes made about them were cut when this roast initially aired on Comedy Central. The DVD release, however, is uncut and uncensored.

Bob Saget is probably best known for his roles on the family oriented programs Full House and America’s Funniest Home Videos. In other words, he’s best known for being incredibly bland and not particularly funny. Outside of television, Bob Saget is known for his blue stand-up comedy routine, which is particularly funny because it is at such odds with his public persona. It is this public persona that is so viciously attacked by the roasters on this DVD, including Gilbert Gottfried, Brian Poesehn, Cloris Leachman, Jeffery Ross, Norm MacDonald and Full House co-star John Stamos.

If you’ve seen one Comedy Central Roast, you’ve pretty much seen them all. That isn’t meant to be insulting, but they basically all follow the same format: tons and tons of raunchy humor and shots of the crowd with their jaws on the ground, unable to believe what they have just heard. The Roast of Bob Saget is no different. I’ve seen most of the Comedy Central Roasts, and I wouldn’t say that this is one of the best, but it’s definitely got its moments. When it’s good, it’s side-splittingly hilarious: Cloris Leachman telling dirty jokes about Mary Tyler Moore. That’s something I didn’t expect to hear! When it’s bad, it’s Jeff Garlin doing terrible impressions that make you cringe with embarrassment, wondering how the man ever found employment in the entertainment world.

All-in-all, I’d give it a solid rating. The good more than makes up for the bad. If you’ve enjoyed the other Comedy Central Roasts, you’ll definitely enjoy this one and it will make a worthy addition to your DVD collection. If you only saw it when it aired on Comedy Central, it’s worth a rental just to hear the jokes that got cut from the broadcast. Wow. I hope the Olsen twins have a good sense of humor.

The DVD also includes a few interviews with Bob Saget and interviews with the roasters and guests on the Blue Carpet both before and after the show. Nothing particularly amazing, but definitely funny and worth watching once.

X-Files: I Want to Believe - DVD Review

2008-12-22T05:28:00.000-08:00

I’ve only watched The X-Files television series twice. The first time was an episode featuring a crazy inbred family who killed their neighbors. The episode scared the pants off of me and I loved it, but for some reason I never fully immersed myself in the series. The second time I tuned it, it was just a repeat of that same episode. It scared me almost as much the second time around.

But I still never got into The X-Files. I didn’t have anything against it, but by the time I got interested enough to actually want to watch it, it had already been on the air for a few years and the whole mythology just seemed too complicated and convoluted to bother with. I was too busy reading complicated and convoluted comic book plotlines at the time anyway; I couldn’t be bothered with a television series.

Fast forward to 2008, and I’m reviewing the second big-screen version of the popular series, X-Files: I Want to Believe. Now, you might think that my almost complete lack of knowledge regarding the series or the characters would be a detriment to my review, and maybe you’re right. I prefer to think that it makes me the perfect choice to review this film. I’m not biased in any way. I don’t come in with any preconceived notions of what the film, the characters or the story should be. I’m a blank slate, a veritable tabula rasa when it comes to all things X-Filey.

Luckily for me, this movie was made to stand on its own. No Smoking Men, alien sister abductions or sexual tension here; just a standalone murder-mystery. Unluckily for me, it wasn’t altogether that great of a movie.

The story picks up six years after the events of the series finale. Dana Scully is a staff physician at Our Lady of Sorrows, a Catholic hospital, where she is treating a young boy with a terminal brain condition. Despite the protests of the clergy, she wishes to go forward with some radical new forms of therapy. The priests and nuns at the hospital would rather leave the matter in God’s hands. An FBI agent asks Scully to help find fugitive agent Fox Mulder and promise to call off their manhunt if he will help them solve a case concerning several missing women. Mulder agrees and the band is back together, in a manner of speaking.

The reason for Mulder’s involvement is Joseph Fitzgerald Crissman, a former priest who had been convicted of pedophilia. It seems that Father Joe has been receiving visions which give him clues to the whereabouts of both the victims and the perpetrators of the recent crimes. Scully is disgusted at the prospect of working with a child molester while Mulder, as usual, is intrigued by the supernatural aspects of the case. These two viewpoints are shared by the rest of the investigative team: half of them think Father Joe is a fraud who is possibly involved with the crimes and is trying to use “the Word of God” as a way to find forgiveness from the Vatican. The other half wonders if maybe there’s something more to his visions.

I won’t go into the rest of the plot, because I don’t want to give anything away for those who might be interested. I will simply say that the rest of the film deals with faith, belief and choices: Mulder’s belief that Father Joe isn’t lying and is having a legitimate psychic vision. Scully’s faith that what she’s doing to help her patient is right. Father Joe’s belief that God is sending him messages and will forgive him for his transgressions. It’s actually a pretty good story and perhaps would’ve made a better movie if someone else had been at the helm. No offense to Chris Carter, obviously he’s the guy most X-Files fans would want behind the camera, but the film lacks any emotion whatsoever. There’s no tension, no suspense and really no excitement to be had.

I don’t want to sound like I’m giving this film a totally bad review though. Like I said, it’s got a very interesting story and the fact that it isn’t simply black and white or good vs. evil is something I really appreciated. It’s definitely more intelligent than a lot of science fiction that’s out there, so it’s at least got that much going for it. And I have to imagine that long-time X-Files fans will enjoy seeing their old favorites back together. Heck, I even got a kick out of it and I’ve only seen one episode of the series! And maybe I’m totally missing the boat on this one? Maybe the TV show was just as dull as this movie and it’s totally par for the course? It might be a home run for all I know.

At any rate, if you’re a fan of the series and you were wondering if this movie is worth your time, I’d guess that it probably is. If you’ve never watched The X-Files and you’re wondering if you could just jump into this movie and have any idea what’s going on, I’m going to say yes, but you might not want to bother. It’s worth a rental, but I’m sure there’s something better out there that you could be watching.

The DVD includes both the theatrical and the extended cut of the movie, as well as the usual assortment of extras. There’s a gag reel, deleted scenes and a ton of interviews with the cast and crew about all the stuff you’d expect: doing another movie after so long, the lengths they went to keep it all under wraps, what it was like to work together again, and so on and so forth. There’s also a music video by Xzibit, who stars in the film as an FBI agent.

Power Rangers DVD Review - Jungle Fury & Way of the Master

2008-12-15T04:57:00.000-08:00

Jungle Fury is the 15th incarnation of the long-running Power Rangers franchise. In this version of the series, the story focuses on The Order of the Claw, a centuries-old group of martial artists able to summon animal spirits. Their mission, passed from generation to generation, is to protect the world from the evil Dai Shi, an evil spirit who believes that animals are the rightful rulers of the earth and wishes to rid the planet of all humans.

The first volume of the series, “Into the Jungle”, features the first six episodes of the series. It opens in present day, with three teen warriors accepting their roles as the protectors of earth. The intended team consisted of headstrong and angry Jarrod; well-meaning know it all Theo; and loyal, caring and stubborn Lilly. Jarrod’s temper gets the better of him and he is replaced on the team by Casey, who is quite brave but still has a long way to go in terms of both training and self-confidence.

When Jarrod ends up striking out against the masters who trained him, the ensuing fight unleashes the spirit of Dai Shi, who promptly assumes control of Jarrod’s body and begins to wage anew his war against humanity. The three new rangers are sent to the city of Ocean Bluff to find a new master in the unlikeliest of places; a pizza parlor. Their new master, R.J., is a stereotypical stoner character who comes equipped with a Megazord and kung-fu skills rather than bags of weed. He informs the team that not only will he be instructing them and giving them employment at his pizza parlor, he will also outfit them with a new arsenal and the power to morph into Power Rangers.

The six episodes on “Into the Jungle” basically just set up the story. We are given background information on the new Power Rangers and see them learn to work as a team. They must overcome personal conflicts and learn to look past their preconceived notions about each other and their new master as they form a cohesive unit dedicated to the forces of order. We also see Dai Shi assemble a new team of monsters and villains to do his bidding.

“Way of the Master” is the second volume in the series and features episodes 7 – 12. These stories get a bit more personal, delving into the histories of the Power Rangers and their enemies. Dai Shi resurrects Carnisoar, the evil Sky Overlord, who introduces him to a new level of hatred and evil. Together, they travel through time to various events in the life of Dai Shi (Jarrod) when he was faced with the opportunity to do evil but instead chose the path of good. Carnisoar erases these events in Jarrod’s life, thereby erasing his humanity and allowing the spirit of Dai Shi to more fully take over.

There are also episodes featuring each individual Ranger overcoming a personal obstacle. Casey must overcome his self-doubt, Theo must deal with losing a battle and his confidence, and Lilly’s good nature is taken advantage of by the evil Camille, who poses as her friend. Each Ranger learns a personal lesson and as a result is granted a new animal spirit weapon with which to battle evil. Retired members of the Order of the Claw are introduced, giving us a bit more history on the never-ending struggle between good and evil. And of course, there’s lots of big cheesy-looking monsters fighting big cheesy-looking robots.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past 16 years, you know who the Power Rangers are and how bad the show is. Nevertheless, it’s not too hard to see the appeal of a show like this for a young kid. There’s lots of sweet kung-fu and the Power Rangers do have pretty cool costumes. I’d be lying if I said that the bad guys didn’t look totally awesome. I also enjoyed the positive messages laced throughout the show, even if they were presented in an incredibly heavy-handed fashion. There were a lot of elements of the story that reminded me of Star Wars. Of course, those themes are far older than anything George Lucas came up with, but the beauty of them is that they still hold true today, no matter what form they are presented in. The show is obviously pretty cheaply made, using the traditional Power Rangers method of incorporating footage from the Japanese Super Sentai series, but for as low budget as it obviously is, the special effects actually don’t look too bad.

The acting, however, is another story. It’s horrible and quite cringe-inducing. God-awful is another phrase that comes to mind. The same goes for the music, which is repeated ad nauseum and is still running through my head as I write this, like some evil mantra. I wonder if there are subliminal messages strewn throughout the music? “Buy more toys! Buy more toys!”

At any rate, there are probably several hundred shows on television that are far worse for a kid to watch. The nice thing about Power Rangers: Jungle Fury is that as bad as it may be, there are some decent messages about loyalty, integrity, compassion and the value of hard work in there. It might be nearly unbearable for you to watch this show with your kids, but if you’re a halfway decent parent, you’ll sit down afterward and discuss the ideas presented and maybe your kid will learn something. So I guess it’s not all bad.

Horton Hears a Who - DVD Review

2008-12-10T19:46:00.000-08:00

Horton Hears a Who! (2008) is the third feature film based on a Dr. Seuss book to hit the big screen and the second to feature Jim Carrey in the title role. Excellent CGI animation, celebrity voices and a timeless tale combine to create a modern classic that will entertain children and adults alike.

Horton is a caring and loyal elephant who has managed to maintain his childlike innocence and imagination despite growing up. These qualities have allowed him to become a great teacher and friend to the children in the jungle and end up sending him on the greatest adventure of his lifetime. Upon discovering that a microscopic civilization called Whoville exists on a speck of dust which has settled on a nearby clover, Horton aspires to find a new home for the denizens of this tiny city, safe from the many dangers of the jungle. Standing in his way is Sour Kangaroo, a skeptical busybody whose only goal in life seems to be to keep everyone else from having any fun. She makes the rules in the jungle and feels that Horton’s nonconformist attitude and creativity threaten the order which she has strived so hard to enforce. But Horton is committed to the very end. His mantra is repeated many times throughout the movie: “I meant what I said and I said what I meant, and an elephant’s faithful 100%.” Undoubtedly, these are words to live by.

There are a lot of hijinks and trouble along the way as Horton communicates with Ned McDodd, the addled Mayor of Whoville and the only one in the city who is aware of Horton’s existence. Ned comes from a long line of mayors and hopes that one day he will be ranked among the greats, despite being blocked at every turn by the Chairman of the City Council, who thinks him nothing more than a buffoon. The citizens of Whoville eventually gain confidence in Ned, as does his son JoJo, who can’t understand his father’s desire for him to follow in his footsteps as Mayor. Meanwhile, Sour Kangaroo is doing a good job of whipping the jungle inhabitants into a frenzy over what she believes to be Horton’s imaginary city on a speck. As the story progresses, her wish to maintain order turns into a maniacal desire to crush Horton’s spirit. I won’t tell you how it ends, but as you might expect, everyone learns a lesson from Horton.

For my money, this movie was more than just a whimsical romp or the latest animated kids flick. It was an incredibly heartwarming and hilarious story that managed to be completely modern while staying true to the spirit of Dr. Seuss’ book. The messages of loyalty and honor as well as the idea that “A person’s a person, no matter how small” are universal themes that can be understood by people of all ages from all walks of life. There are lessons to be learned in this movie that no child can afford to be without. Beyond that, I thought it was quite funny and as a fan of Dr. Seuss, I was not at all disappointed with this interpretation of his work.

I’m not usually a big fan of celebrity voices in animated features. For one thing, kids don’t usually don’t know and more often don’t really care who they are. For another thing, there are plenty of voice actors out there who have studied and trained to perform in cartoons. Giving the job to a big-time actor deprives someone else who is probably more deserving of gainful employment. However, I have to admit that I enjoyed every performance in this film. Sure, you can tell that Mayor McDodd is Steve Carell and Sour Kangaroo is obviously Carol Burnett, but it doesn’t overwhelm the movie. Despite his very familiar voice, I never heard Jim Carrey as Horton; I simply saw Horton.

The animation is awesome as well. Blue Sky Studios once again give Pixar a run for their money with astonishing CGI animation. Even if I hadn’t liked the movie as much as I did, I couldn’t help but marvel at… everything. The characters, the settings, the leaves on the trees: everything just looked fantastic. The only real drawback to the movie is a more personal one. While there are a few pop culture references strewn throughout the film, they just sort of blend in and don’t seem out of place or feel like they’ll be dated and irrelevant in a few years. The addition of REO Speedwagon’s “I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore”, on the other hand, felt like it was shoehorned in as something for the adults in the theater to enjoy. The rest of the film immersed me in the very unique world of Dr. Seuss and the addition of that song completely pulled me out of it, nearly ruining the movie. It just didn’t fit. Again, that might just be me. If you aren’t the type to be bothered by such things, pay no mind to the last few sentences.

The DVD has tons of special features detailing the themes of the film and the methods through which it was brought to the big screen. If you have any questions about how anything was done, they ought to be answered by the time you finish with all the extras. There’s also director commentary, deleted scenes, a sneak peek at Ice Age 3 and an all-new Ice Age short titled Surviving Sid.

Fred Claus - DVD Review

2008-12-02T18:53:00.000-08:00

Growing up in the shadow a seemingly perfect sibling can be tough. Constant comparisons from parents will generally lead to feelings of resentment and anger. It’s hard when parents seem to find fault in everything you do and treat your brother as though he was a saint. Imagine how hard it would be if your brother actually was a saint: St. Nick.

This is the premise behind Fred Claus, which reteams director David Dobkin (Wedding Crashers) with Vince Vaughn, who stars as the title character. The basic gist of the film is fairly predictable, but as the saying goes, it isn’t the destination, but the journey that is important. Fred Claus might not bring anything new to the table, but much like your mom’s Christmas dinner, it serves up the old favorites in a delicious style.

After a brief “origin story”, we find Fred Claus living in modern-day Chicago. He’s something of a con-man who has never followed through on anything in life. He doesn’t like Christmas and he doesn’t seem to particularly care for life in general. After a get rich quick scheme lands him in jail with no money for bail, he calls on his brother for help. Nick (Paul Giamatti) is used to bailing Fred out of tight spots and rather than fall into the same trap, he offers Fred a job working for him at his toy factory in the North Pole.

It turns out that Santa needs more than just a little help. A scheming efficiency expert (Kevin Spacey) is keeping close tabs on the toy factory and plans to shut down Christmas if Santa’s elves can’t meet their quota. Long story short: Fred reconciles with his family, Santa realizes he isn’t exactly perfect either, everybody learns the true meaning of Christmas and it all turns out okay. That shouldn’t be considered a spoiler, as anyone who has ever seen a single holiday movie should be able to figure out exactly what happens from reading the back of the box.

Is the movie predictable? Yes. In fact, it’s so predictable that the moment a new character appears on-screen, you already know their entire story arc. Is it full of cliché? You better believe it. Does Vince Vaughn deliver the exact same performance and play the exact same character he has played in nearly every movie he’s ever been in? Once again, the answer is yes, but if you like Vince Vaughn, then that isn’t a bad thing. Beyond that, the story seems filled with glaring omissions: Kevin Spacey plays an efficiency expert, but I don’t know that it’s ever stated who is employing him or why they have power over Santa’s operations. Why exactly is Elizabeth Banks human-sized in a world full of elves? These and other plot holes exist to confound the nitpickers.

In the end, it doesn’t matter. Sometimes there just needs to be a simple movie that the entire family can enjoy and you don’t need to ask too many questions and you don’t need to think too hard about the plot. I pity the fool who watches Fred Claus for deeply moving character development or plot twists. It is a movie about the spirit of Christmas and the spirit of family, and we should all be thankful that Tim Allen isn’t in it. Fred Claus is by no means an instant classic, and it’s certainly not a “must-rent” either. But if you’re a fan of Christmas movies, you’ll definitely enjoy it.

Fred Claus is not a raunchy comedy filled with double entendres and dirty jokes. It’s not a mindless cartoon that panders to children and leaves the rest of the family feeling sick to their stomachs either. It’s just a funny movie with a great cast delivering great performances. It’s a movie that you can watch with your parents and their parents as well as your kids after gorging yourself on Christmas dinner: exactly what you need to help you digest.

The DVD includes both widescreen and full-screen formats, commentary by director David Dobkin and 25 minutes of deleted scenes and outtakes.

Alvin and the Chipmunks "Undeniable" CD Review

2008-11-25T19:35:00.000-08:00

After a bit of a hiatus, The Chipmunks have returned in a big way. Last year saw the little guys finally make their way to the big screen for their movie debut. This was quickly followed by a return to the studio to record Undeniable. Teaming once again with longtime producer (and adopted father) Dave Seville, the Chipmunks have crafted another fine album, though it doesn’t quite live up to the high standard the group has set in the past.

Bands such as Fleetwood Mac and The Beatles have proven that sometimes tension and in-fighting between band members can lead to a better product. Some artists are at their best under intense conditions: the Chipmunks are no exception to this rule. It’s never been a secret that the boys (especially Alvin) don’t always see eye-to-eye with their father/producer, and sometimes that tension threatens to derail the entire recording process. Every project they’ve worked on together has nearly come to an explosive end and examples of this are typically left on the album. There’s always at least one track that features a typical Seville outburst.

Normally, that kind of intensity fuels the artistic fire in Alvin & the boys. It’s what drives them to create such classic albums as Chipmunk Punk, Urban Chipmunk and Let’s All Sing with the Chipmunks. On this album, however, it comes off a little flat. Sure, there’s more than a few good tracks on Undeniable, but one is left wondering if the tension between the band and their father/producer has taken the fire out of the group. The Chipmunks sound as though they’re just going through the motions on this one. The passion is gone and the album sounds fairly lackluster.

As I said, there are a few decent tracks. Their cover of Blink-182’s "All The Small Things" is actually superior to the original. “Ho Ho Ho” is a new holiday song that is destined to become a classic and their version of the Bob Marley classic “Three Little Birds” showcases the rhythmic rodent’s amazing ability to harmonize. I guess they’ve had 50 years to practice, so maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised. As good as their covers may be, the band really shines on their original material such as the previously mentioned “Ho Ho Ho”, “Acceptance” and the title track, “Undeniable”. The Chipmunks have never been averse to adapting to different musical genres, and these three tracks fall a bit closer into the hip-hop/rap category, a realm in which the boys prove themselves to be very adept. The two Led Zeppelin covers (“Thank You”, “Rock and Roll”) however, are lackluster at best. The same can be said for their attempt at injecting some soul into Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin”. Seeing these songs listed on the packaging got me really excited, but hearing them just made me skip to the next song about halfway through. Children will probably enjoy these songs quite a bit, but longtime fans will find that the novelty wears off pretty quickly as they grind their teeth and wonder why they made this purchase.

When all is said and done, this is probably a fine album for kids who enjoyed the recent movie and want more Chipmunks product. Parents, however, will undoubtedly find it to be simply annoying. I don’t want to sound like some loser pining for his youth, but the fact is that the Chipmunks just aren’t as good as they used to be. You don’t win six Grammys by being a simple children’s act: there has to be some level of heart and talent there. Go back and listen to an old Chipmunks album. Sure, you’re not going to be blasting it at a party anytime soon, but they’re quite a bit of fun and well made. Undeniable lacks the skill and most of all lacks the heart of the old Chipmunks recordings. Nevertheless, this will probably make a good stocking stuffer and the few tracks that are good will make up for the bad.

Popeye Volume Three: 1941-1943 - DVD REVIEW

2008-11-21T05:51:00.000-08:00

With the third volume in the Popeye series, Warner Home Video rounds out the rest of the black and white Popeye cartoons from the 1940’s. There’s 32 theatrical shorts featured on 2 discs as well as a gaggle of extra material. The cartoons on this disc cover the transition from Fleischer Studios to Famous Studios, as well as Popeye’s transition from civilian life to active duty with the United States Navy. It’s a must have for fans of the spinach eating sailor as well as classic animation buffs.

The first disc features a variety of mishaps and misadventures with Popeye constantly looking after his bumbling, alcoholic father as well as the infant Sweet Pea. Popeye’s nephews Pip-Eye, Pup-Eye, Poop-Eye and Peep-Eye even show up for one adventure. Why any parent would allow a man with such a violent nature to care for their children is beyond me, but I have to admit Popeye does seem to care for the little guys. He apparently even went so far as to take them all out to get matching anchor tattoos! Rounding out the regular cast is Popeye’s main squeeze, Olive Oyl and of course, Bluto, who is always trying to steal Olive away from Popeye, whether she likes it or not.

The second disc is pretty much filled with wartime cartoons, as Popeye re-enlisted with the Navy just a few months before the U.S. got involved in World War II. The cartoons are still very entertaining if you aren’t bothered by propaganda and are willing to overlook the astonishingly racist depictions of Japanese soldiers. Wow! I’ve seen a few wartime cartoons and I knew that racism was much more prevalent in those days, but I still wasn’t prepared for what I saw here. To call them non-politically correct would be like saying that Minnesota gets “a little chilly” in the wintertime. Nevertheless, they are a product of their time and should be viewed as such. Parents, just make sure you’re in the room with the kids if you allow them to watch these. You may want to explain a few things.

While large portions of the material contained on these discs harkens back to a very different time in America when men were men, women were objects and anyone who wasn’t white was the devil, the beauty of the animation can not be overlooked. These cartoons are classics, plain and simple, and they have been lovingly restored for this collection. I’ve seen a few old cartoons from this era on television or VHS, and they’ve never looked better than they do here. As I said earlier, they belong in the collection of any fan of the golden age of animation.

Speaking of the golden age of animation, there’s a variety of special features on these discs, including commentary by animation historians, directors and in some cases, the children of the folks who created these cartoons in the first place. There are also three documentaries focusing on Popeye and the roots of animation, as well as three Fleischer produced Out of the Inkwell shorts featuring Koko the Clown from the 1920’s! The documentaries are just as entertaining as the cartoons and they’re informative as well. That’s a lot of bang for your buck.

Ultimate Classic Wrestling Presents... DVD Review

2008-11-18T04:21:00.000-08:00

According to the cover, Ultimate Classic Wrestling Presents… gives fans a ringside seat for a collage of classic wrestling from arenas across the country. It’s a collectors set featuring ferocious battles between pro wrestling’s most famous and infamous stars, and it’s not for the faint of heart. What is actually delivered is over five hours of matches from the defunct United States Wrestling Association, the majority of which were filmed at the Sportatorium in Dallas, Texas in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s. I won’t deny that there’s a lot of great material on here, but the cover is just a bit deceiving.

Long-time wrestling fans will be familiar with this type of release. It’s basically a bunch of matches featuring superstars from the World Wrestling Federation or World Championship Wrestling before they made it to prime-time that seem to be thrown together by someone trying to make a quick buck. If you’re a fair-weather fan or someone who is accustomed to the glitz and glamour of Monday Night Raw, these matches might be a bit of a shock to your system. They appear to be filmed in a bingo hall with very small, very rural-looking crowds in attendance. There’s no pyro, no fireworks and no fancy camera angles. It’s wrestling the way it used to be, perhaps the way it was meant to be: Two men lacing boots and going toe-to-toe in the squared circle with a giant banner advertising Renegade Tobacco behind them. The human game of chess played out with a distinctive southern style. Or, if you prefer to look at it another way, its two guys in tights doing gymnastics. But at any rate, it ain’t fancy and it ain’t pretty.

As a dedicated fan of the sport of kings, I found Ultimate Classic Wrestling Presents… to be a worthwhile venture, as long as you know what you’re in for. The two-disc set boasts many superstars such as Steve Austin, Cactus Jack, Jerry Lawler, Jeff Jarrett, Dustin Rhodes and Mark Callous, aka The Undertaker. In addition to these six superstars, there are over twenty other wrestlers who are featured in matches or at the very least make brief appearances, most of whom fall under the designation of either “has-been” or “never-was”. But don’t take that to mean there isn’t a lot of talent on these two DVDs; there’s plenty of great entertainment for a reasonably low price. No one is mistaking any of these bouts as a match of the decade or even match of the year, but if you like wrestling, you oughtta like these discs.

If nothing else on Ultimate Classic Wrestling Presents… floats your boat, it is worth viewing for a rare look at The Undertaker before he entered the World Wrestling Federation. He is featured in several matches under the names “The Punisher” and “Mean” Mark Callous. I’ve been a fan of the ‘Taker for a long time now, and I’ve never seen any of this early footage. It was pretty exciting to see this legendary grappler as a young man, learning the ropes and perfecting his style. The same can be said for stars such as Steve Austin and Cactus Jack, though footage of the early days of their careers is much more readily available, and a lot of the footage offered here isn’t quite from the earliest stages of their careers, but somewhere in the middle.

If you’re a newcomer to the world of professional wrestling and you like the cartoonish style of the WWE, I probably wouldn’t recommend purchasing these DVDs. While there’s a lot of great talent featured, most new fans are looking for a slicker product more in line with what they see on Monday Night Raw. However, if you want to see real wrestling; or perhaps I should say rasslin’, with all the glitz and glamour stripped away, look no further. These guys aren’t falling back on expensive props or fireworks to tell their story, they are doing it through talent, athletic ability and ring psychology. It harkens back to an earlier time in the history of the sport and while it’s certainly not for everyone, dedicated fans of wrestling will probably enjoy it quite a bit.

Wu: The Story of the Wu-Tang Clan - DVD Review

2008-11-03T11:02:00.000-08:00

Wu: The Story of the Wu-Tang Clan tells the story of the rise, fall and eventual rebirth of the Wu-Tang Clan, one of the most successful hip-hop groups in history. It follows them from their humble beginnings as kids in Staten Island watching kung-fu movies to the height of fame and power as rappers, record producers, actors and major motion picture composers.

The impact of the Wu-Tang Clan can not be overstated. The simple fact that the group had nine MCs is amazing in and of itself, to say nothing of their dominance of the industry, brought about by their unique deal with Loud Records which allowed each member of the group to sign with a different record label for their solo releases. From clothing stores to video games to nail polish, the Clan branched out into many different avenues of business, each one of them successful.

But success has its price, as this film documents. Internal struggles within the group and personal problems essentially dissolved the Clan. It seemed that their egos got the best of them as rivalries and feuds made enemies out of former friends. Struggles with personal demons led to the incarceration and eventual death of founding member Russell Jones aka Ol’ Dirty Bastard. Much of the film is dedicated to ODB’s problems and acts as something of a tribute to this often misunderstood but immensely talented individual.

The film features interviews with friends and family as well as never before seen performance footage from the early days in clubs to sell-out arena crowds. The impact of the group is underscored by this amazing footage. The crowds at these shows are so diverse: seemingly people of every color and culture loved the Wu-Tang Clan and at several times throughout the performances, it would seem that the crowd is the MC. They know every single word to every song. It’s almost like a rally or a revival meeting. There’s something almost religious about these events and the power comes through on film.

While Wu: The Story of the Wu-Tang Clan is probably the best documentary on the group I’ve ever seen, there’s a simple reason for that fact: it’s the only documentary on the group I’ve ever seen. The downfall of this film is that while it touches on nearly every important aspect of the group’s history, it never really gets in-depth. It glazes the surface of many events, but never really delves into any of them, with the exception of the death of ODB. There are lots of interviews with producers, relatives and friends, but the majority of the interviews with actual members of the Wu-Tang Clan are ones that have been seen before on MTV or BET and are several years old.

It’s not that the film isn’t informative, it simply isn’t informative enough. Not enough for me, at least. Don’t get me wrong, I’d definitely recommend this movie to any fan of the group, but I have to admit that I was left wanting more. The cover of the DVD package states that this is an authorized film, and part of me has to wonder if that is part of the problem. I got the feeling that because the director is a close friend to the Wu-Tang Clan, perhaps he did not delve as deeply or as intimately into certain matters as he could have. Not that I was looking for a tawdry history of the group, but I did feel like this film pulled its punches a bit. More information on the Wu-Tang Clan to be found on Wikipedia than in this movie. On the other hand, we live in such a tabloid culture these days, maybe it’s best to simply take a look at a group of artists and applaud them for what they’ve done rather than rake them over the coals and expose their darkest secrets.

This DVD includes extended versions of some of the interviews seen in the film as well as the music video for Protect Ya Neck, the debut single that started it all.

Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead - DVD Review

2008-10-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

My mother always told me “If you don’t have something nice to say, you probably shouldn’t say anything at all.” It’s a good thing I don’t always follow my mother’s advice because if I did, this would be the shortest reviews I’ve ever written.

Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead tells the tale of four twenty-somethings on their way to Las Vegas to celebrate an imminent marriage. They’re taking the back roads to save time and wouldn’t you know it: their car breaks down. They come across an abandoned house and decide to “borrow” a car they find there. Naturally, the car belongs to Rusty Nails, a crazy trucker who decides to hunt them down and kill them; not because they stole his car, but simply because he’s a crazy trucker who likes to kill people. I guess when your mom names you Rusty Nails, you end up with a particularly mean disposition.

If you enjoy formulaic-to-the-point-of-boredom horror films, this might be right up your alley. Otherwise, steer clear of this disaster. Sometimes, adhering to a basic formula works really well. Sometimes it’s fun to watch a mindless horror or action movie knowing full well what the outcome will be. Being able to figure out the entire plot within the first 15 minutes of a movie isn’t always a bad thing. If you’re in the mood for that sort of thing, or if you’re playing a drinking game, it can actually be a pretty good time.

I defy anyone to enjoy Joy Ride 2. I defy anyone to sit through the entire movie without finding a bit of light housework to do while watching. I had no problem stepping out of the room for a minute or two, knowing full well that I wouldn’t be missing out on any major plot points or particularly juicy lines of dialogue. This movie was so terrible I didn’t even get any satisfaction out of watching the death scenes. Yeah, it’s that bad.

If you’re interested in finding out where turds come from, you could tune into a gastrointestinal documentary on the Science Channel, or you could watch the extras on this disc, which include a making-of and storyboard-to-scene comparisons. There’s also a featurette which showcases the how-to’s of gore makeup, which is actually pretty interesting.

In short, I advise you to stay as far away from this movie as possible. There is no joy to be found in Joy Ride 2.

The Happening - DVD Review

2008-10-15T19:33:00.001-07:00

In the summer of 2008, writer/director M. Night Shyamalan unleashed his first ever R-rated feature film, The Happening. The film was pretty much universally panned by critics and filmgoers alike, myself included. There’s certainly no mistaking The Happening for something that the average person would refer to as a “good movie”, but upon further contemplation, I do feel that this movie has something to offer to a certain selection of film buffs.

The basic plot of the film deals with a strange plague that causes people to off themselves in particularly gruesome ways. There’s a husband and wife who run around trying to get to the bottom of the whole thing while simultaneously dealing with the effects of the plague. Namely, everybody starts panicking and acting all crazy. The main point of the film, without spoiling anything, is that ultimately it is “people” who are the real terror.

This movie features, without a doubt, the worst acting I have ever seen captured on film. I’m not just referring to one or two of the actors, I’m talking across the board. It’s true that no one has ever mistaken Mark Walberg or Zooey Deschanel for Academy Award winners, but to call their performances in this film wooden would be an insult to the lumber industry. They’re just plain bad.

The movie was marketed as something of a horror film, or maybe a suspense thriller or something of that nature. The truth of the matter is that it’s not even remotely scary. I can’t recall sitting through a less suspenseful movie in my lifetime. This film fails to hit the mark on nearly every attempt: it’s funny when it’s supposed to be serious and during the (allegedly) humorous scenes, there was nary a smile in the theater.

Now, I saw The Happening in the theater, and I’ll be totally honest with you: I almost walked out about 30 minutes into it. But at some point, I’m not exactly sure where, a light bulb appeared over my head and the truth of this film was illuminated. “Oh!” I thought to myself while sitting in the theater contemplating other things I could’ve spent my $10 on, “This isn’t a good movie… it’s a bad movie!” And from that point on, I actually kind of liked it.

Here’s the deal: if The Happening had been released some time in the 1970’s, I’m convinced that it would be revered today as a lost gem of the drive-in era. Its poor acting, slow pacing and heavy-handed social and ecological messages would have meshed quite well with similar films of the era such as Billy Jack, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Soylent Green or Silent Running. If it had been released as the third movie on the Grindhouse bill along with Tarantino’s Death Proof and Rodriguez’s Planet Terror, fans of exploitation films would have absolutely swooned over it. It fits in perfectly with these films, and a part of me has to believe that it was M. Night Shyamalan’s intention to craft an homage to this bygone era of filmmaking. I have to believe it because it’s the only way I can make any sense of this travesty of modern cinema.

There is no possible way Shyamalan wrote this dialogue and handed it over to the actors thinking it was going to be the next Sixth Sense. I can not possibly believe that he directed these actors and at the end of a long shoot looked back over the finished product and thought “Yes, this is exactly what I was going for!” unless what he was going for was an intentionally bad movie. And if that was indeed his goal, then he succeeded with flying colors and I applaud him for his efforts.

I myself am a fan of exploitation films and B-movies. I am among the seven people in the world who actually own the remastered 5-disc Billy Jack 35th Anniversary Ultimate Collection. Nothing moves me to recycle or make a difference in my community like a good (or from most perspectives, bad) mid-to-late ‘70s ecological disaster movie. So when I look at The Happening through that perspective, there is a big part of me that really does enjoy it. That strange and indefinable part of my brain that absolutely thrills to bad cinema. If you feel the same way, you just might find something to enjoy in “The Happening”. However, if you are filmgoer with any sense of taste, you’ll stay as far away from this movie as you can possibly get.

The DVD features all sorts of deleted scenes with introductions from Shyamalan, as well as behind-the-scenes featurettes and a gag reel.

Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - 2-Disc Special Edition - DVD Review

2008-10-14T05:14:00.000-07:00

After nearly two decades of speculation and worry, the summer of 2008 brought the highly unnecessary fourth installment in the Indiana Jones franchise, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. All parties involved promised us that their involvement was contingent on just the right script. That sounded promising, but I should remind you that after three Vacation movies, key players Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo stated that they wouldn’t return for a fourth film unless the script was “just right.” Have you seen Vegas Vacation? ‘Nuff said.

I expected to reenter the world of Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones with a mixture of anticipation and dread. What I actually walked into the theater with was an attitude a bit closer to “who cares?”

As the character in the Family Circus comic strip says, “Not me!” – I couldn’t care less. I’d already been burned by three Star Wars prequels and had long since come to terms with the so-called raping of my most beloved childhood memories. I had also come to realize that no matter what was behind this film, whether it be money or a mid-life crisis, it ultimately didn’t matter. It was, after all, just a movie and no matter how bad it was, my memories and my childhood were still intact and still pure.

Though countless die-hards will undoubtedly disagree with me, I’m happy to say that with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, no childhoods were raped. Not mine, at least. Now, this movie didn’t exactly take my childhood out for a fancy dinner and dancing and whisper sweet nothings into its ear under the moonlight. This movie did not have the decency to call my childhood after the obligatory three-day wait, nor did it even bother to make breakfast for my childhood in the morning. But nothing that happened between my childhood and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull that wasn’t agreed to by both parties. However, my childhood will probably not be calling Indy back for another date. It was decent; I’ll even go so far as to say that it was pretty good. But it wasn’t that good.

I apologize if my humor is a bit off-color, but I get a little tired of the people who seem to think that movies like this one or the Star Wars prequels are somehow retroactively making their lives worse. It’s been 19 years since the last Indy movie. What do you people expect? What do you want? With this movie, you get what you pay for. What Lucas, Spielberg and Ford have given us with Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is the Indiana Jones movie that came 19 years after the last one. No more, no less.

Now, some folks will tell you that this movie doesn’t capture the same feeling as the previous three installments. Having re-watched the first three films in the series in preparation for the fourth installment, I will say that all of these films have a very distinct flavor all their own, and there isn’t really a “definitive Indy feeling” other than bare knuckle brawling and a rollicking good time. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a departure in the sense that the first three films act as an homage to the old Republic serials of the '30s and '40s and this one is more of a 1950’s B-Movie, complete with all the trappings of the genre. But at the end of the day, it’s got the one unifying factor that remains true throughout the entire series: Indiana Jones.

I imagine that a lot of fans had a lot of problems with the depiction of Indiana Jones as an old man. Naturally, they wanted to see their childhood hero remain eternally young and virile and couldn’t imagine him as anything other than the strapping young smart-mouthed adventurer. If you fall into this category, you should not watch this movie. It will rape your childhood.

However, if you enjoy the prospect of a hero nearing the end of his days, having lost a step or two and not packing quite the punch he used to, you might enjoy this movie. No matter what you think of the film, I think it’s hard to argue that Harrison Ford doesn’t bring something great to the table. I’d even go so far as to say that his performance in this film is even stronger than in previous films because of the added dimension and depth that the character has been given. Indy’s not as cool in this movie as he was in the earlier ones. It’s a lot like watching your grandpa run around with a whip and a gun. But if your grandpa was Indiana Jones, you’d still think he was pretty damn cool, right? Hell yeah!

Now, I’ve given you the good and I’ve defended this movie against its detractors. But along with the good comes the bad and since I’ve already given you the sugar, I must give you the medicine. Hopefully that first spoonful will help it go down.

One of the big arguments against Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is that it feels less like a film and more like a nostalgic thrill ride. Like the roller coaster version of Indiana Jones or a remake of a classic song. It hits all the right notes and it does what it has to do, but it’s not the original and it never will be. Sort of like a remake of a Beatles song: No matter how good it is, it ain’t the Beatles. I have to admit that I agree.

On one hand, it is the Indiana Jones movie that came 19 years after the last Indiana Jones movie. One could argue that it sort of has to be a nostalgic trip down memory lane. On the other hand, as fun as this movie can be at times, ultimately it just lacks heart. As a longtime fan who grew up with Indiana Jones, I should have cried during this movie. That’s as direct and to the point as I can be. I should have cried when Indy and Marion were reunited, or at the very least teared up. I should’ve gotten goosebumps when Indy put the hat back on or cracked the whip for the first time. But I didn’t. And that is the worst thing I can say about this film. For a movie that was supposed to be a nostalgic and exciting trip back to my childhood, it was far too tame and lackluster. While it didn’t offend me or make me shake an angry fist at Spielberg & Lucas for retroactively molesting my childhood, it didn’t really fill me with the sense of wonder that it should have either. It didn’t rape my childhood, because it lacked the ability to return me to those days of wonder.

Ultimately, I did like this movie. It wasn’t great, but it was fun. Sure, it wasn’t as good as the first three, but it was a hell of a lot better than Rocky IV, Land of the Dead, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and whatever the fourth Alien movie was called. Most film franchises can’t successfully make it past two movies. Judged against its peers, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a resounding success.

The first three Indiana Jones movies were supposed to take us back to the halcyon days of the Republic Serials. With this one, Lucas and Spielberg set out to make a '50s era B-movie, and I think they succeeded. The movies of that time might not have been art, but they were a good time and are now revered as classics in their own right. I won’t go so far as to call this movie a classic, but I do think that ultimately, it will stand the test of time and will take it’s proper place among the rest of the Indy series.

The 2-disc special edition features a ton of goodies. A pre-production documentary, a 12-part production diary and a whole bunch of galleries and pre-visualizaton stuff. It’s got everything the hardcore fan or film buff could want, including a bunch of interviews with the cast and crew. Basically, the same stuff that every other 2-disc special edition set has. If you’ve seen one 2-disc set, you’ve seen ‘em all. You know what’s on here, go ahead and buy it: It’s probably only $5 more than the regular version.

Silverhawks Volume One - DVD Review

2008-10-09T07:08:00.000-07:00

In the hierarchy of 80’s cartoons, none can dispute the “holy trinity” of He-Man, G.I. Joe and Transformers. However, there were a few others that aspired to reach the lofty heights of these three masterpieces. Among them was a team of space faring cybernetic law enforcers known as The Silverhawks.

Silverhawks was created by Rankin/Bass as a follow up to their previous series, Thundercats, and there are quite a few similarities between the shows, including the majority of the voice actors. There’s a little more sci-fi and a little less fantasy in this series, but overall, it’s pretty obvious the same hands were at work in both shows. Which is great, as Thundercats were pretty freakin’ awesome.

Silverhawks are pretty awesome too. The show is essentially a 29th century cops n’ robbers program that pits a team of flying heroes with cybernetic enhancements against the threat of Mon*Star and his ruthless gang of thugs. Mon*Star is your classic gangster, except for the fact that he flies through space on a giant squid equipped with laser guns and he’s got metal spikes sticking out of his head. His gang consists of a little troll named Hardware (the weapons expert), a giant robot minotaur named Mumbo Jumbo (the muscle), an environmental terrorist named Windhammer, who can manipulate the weather with a giant tuning fork, a shapeshifter named Mo-Lec-U-Lar (who looks a bit like an evil version of the grapes from the Fruit of the Loom commercials) and a punk rock chick named Melodia who uses a keytar that shoots lasers. Yup, they’re just your average, everyday mobsters.

Did I mention everyone can breathe in outer space? Apparently, the Limbo Galaxy, where the show takes place, has some sort of atmosphere, because people in space tend to fall downward relative to whatever vehicle or platform from which they lost their footing. If you’re looking for realism, look elsewhere. On the other hand, if you’re looking for robot birds and spaceships that look like cars from the 1940’s, Silverhawks is your show!

Anyway, back to the forces of good and the stars of the show: The Silverhawks. Basically, they’re a bunch of sweet-looking flying cyborgs with names that are somehow related to metal. Quicksilver, the Copper Kid and the twins: Steelheart and Steelwill. Oh, and the pilot is a cowboy named Bluegrass who, similar to the evil Melodia, uses a laser-firing guitar. This is the kind of awesomeness our descendants have to look forward to and as I watched this show, I found myself cursing the fact that I was born nine centuries too early.

I suppose I should talk about quality at some point. Is it any good? Yeah, it actually is. Being a children’s program, it’s not the type of series that’s likely to inspire any deep conversations about the nature of good and evil or the possibilities of technological advances we might see in the future, but it is a lot of fun. If you grew up with the series and you’re wondering how it holds up, I will attest to the fact that it’s a whole lot more enjoyable than those G.I. Joe DVDs you bought a few years back.

The #1 thing about Silverhawks that I found really cool was the character designs. Sure, the plots are simple, but they’re not made for adults. But I defy any adult to find a cartoon with cooler looking characters! Practically every character on this show looks totally awesome, and with the exception of the lady with the keytar, it really doesn’t look dated at all. I think you could show this to a kid today and they probably wouldn’t even realize it was over 20 years old, as long as they didn’t hear the theme song.

The 4 disc set features 32 episodes. That’s over 11 hours of action! In addition, there’s a little featurette called Partly Metal, Partly Real: Remembering Silverhawks. It’s a nice program that recalls the origins of the series and features interviews with the producers and voice actors, who still look back on the show fondly. As well they should.

Silverhawks may not be remembered by quite as many people as the aforementioned “holy trinity”, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less good. As a matter of fact, it’s probably better and at the very least, it looks cool as hell. If you’re a parent looking for a slice of nostalgia that you can enjoy with your kids, you could do a lot worse than picking up a copy of Silverhawks Volume One.

Legendary Performances: Marty Robbins - DVD Review

2008-09-25T04:15:00.000-07:00

Culled from a wide variety of sources and over 20 years of history, Shout! Factory and The Country Music Hall of Fame have struck gold once again with their Legendary Performances series and a definitive look back at the career of Marty Robbins. Beginning with a performance of “Knee Deep in the Blues” from 1957 and ending with “All Around Cowboy” from 1979, this DVD features 15 of Marty’s biggest hits and showcases his ability to handle cowboy ballads, country & western, pop and even play the blues.

I have to admit to knowing very little about Marty Robbins prior to watching this disc, but I definitely walked away with a newfound respect. Sure, I’d heard the big hits like “El Paso” and “Singing the Blues”, but that barely scratches the surface of the man’s range. Even in the early days, he was quite a showman, a talent that served him well as he adapted his amazing voice to fit a variety of styles of music and even host his own television show in the late 60’s. Several performances featured on this disc were taken from that very show.

Did I mention the voice? Like butter. Like butter wrapped in silk and dipped in honey. My god, this man must’ve driven the women crazy back in the day.

Beyond the performances, there’s a fairly in-depth interview with Marty that must’ve been done just before his death in 1982 in which he discusses his long career, his relationship with the fans and the type of music he performed. As I stated earlier, though he was known primarily as a singer of country & western music, he regularly crossed over into the pop charts and was known for his eclectic style, even touching on an array of world music. Versatility was the name of this man’s game, and he impressed me with not only his musical ability, but also his knowledge and kindness. He actually struck me as being a very genuine guy.

The thing I really like about this Legendary Performances series is watching the musical and clothing styles change as well as the television production values. A lot of these rare performances could easily be lost to the sands of time if not for the fine folks at The Country Music Hall of Fame. I don’t consider these discs to be simply entertainment, I honestly consider them to be a history lesson. There’s a lot to be learned about the history of music, television and performance. There’s a certain sense of dignity and class to this era of music. While the clothing may be out of style, the songs are timeless.

The list of performances includes:

1) Knee Deep in the Blues (1957)
2) The Same Two Lips (1957)
3) Nothing But Sweet Lies (1959)
4) Singing The Blues (1958)
5) The Story of My Life (1959)
6) El Paso (1965)
7) Devil Woman (1969)
8) Begging To You (1969)
9) My Woman, My Woman, My Wife (1970)
10) Ribbon of Darkness (1976)
11) Among My Souvenirs (1976)
12) A White Sport Coat (And a Pink Carnation) (1977)
13) Don’t Worry (1977)
14) El Paso City (1978)
15) All Around Cowboy (1979)

The DVD also includes Marty Robbins’ induction into the Country Music Hall of Fame.

Speed Racer DVD Review

2008-09-24T04:34:00.000-07:00

With the live-action adaptation of the classic anime Speed Racer, the Wachowski’s hoped to reach a larger audience by presenting a family friendly film. When the film was released this summer, it didn’t exactly have the box office impact that the studios were hoping for and didn’t set the critical world on fire either. The Matrix it wasn’t. Despite the poor performance and generally negative reviews, I still wanted to see the film. It just looked really cool. Thanks to the magic of DVD, I was able to watch Speed Racer earlier today and yes, it does look really cool.

Unfortunately, this is a movie that doesn’t seem to know who it’s appealing to, and clocking in at 2 hours and 15 minutes, it misses the mark for both of its major demographics. One can not expect a young child to sit still for that long, nor can one expect any reasonably affordable strain of marijuana to produce a high that will last throughout the duration of the movie. The plot is just a bit too complicated for a kid to really get into, but the characters are a bit too simple to really appeal to anyone looking for a compelling film. It’s not that Speed Racer is a bad movie; it’s just not that good.

The story centers around the improbably named Speed Racer and his family of racing addicts. Speed is renowned for his artistic ability on the track and is wooed by an evil corporation. Deciding his integrity and love for the sport is more important than a big paycheck, Speed ends up finding out that all is not as it seems in the world of racing. A lot of the major races are fixed in order to manipulate the stock market and further the success of corporate fatcats. Working together with the mysterious Racer X, Speed enters the Casa Cristo, a race known for foul play and danger. There’s a lot more to the story, including a love interest and a little kid and a chimp who stow away in the back of the car, but I won’t bother getting into all that right now.

For a film with the word “speed” in the title, Speed Racer moves at an alarmingly slow pace. Just when it seems that the plot is really about to get rolling, it slows back down as new characters and new elements are added. It seems very disjointed at times, almost as though the chimp that was hiding in the trunk of the car was also in the editing room. As I said before, it’s also just too long. I’m not a filmmaker and I shouldn’t be telling anyone how to make a movie, but my god: it’s nearly two and a half hours long! This movie should’ve been an hour and a half tops. The frustrating thing is that it’s not hard to see where it could be improved. Take out a few minutes here, a few minutes there and the whole thing would flow a lot better. It’s almost a good movie, but not quite.

It is, however, absolutely brilliant to look at. The whole thing really does look like a cartoon brought to life. The movie somehow manages to look like a futuristic version of the 1960s got busy with a Mario Kart video game and had a hyperactive baby named Speed Racer. The special effects are awesome and it should be noted that despite the level of craziness going on during the race scenes, it’s always very clear what is happening at all times. I’ve seen too many action flicks where the special effects overwhelm everything on screen and you have no idea what’s going on because your brain just can’t keep up. Not so with Speed Racer. The race scenes are very easy to follow and incredibly fun to watch. Despite this movies many flaws, I can’t really give it too bad of a review, because it’s just so freakin’ cool looking!

In the end, I guess I’d say that Speed Racer is a movie that should probably be rented rather than purchased. Wait for it to hit HBO or Showtime or whatever movie channel you might subscribe to. It’s totally worth watching, but you might not want to watch it again. Children and owners of gravity bongs might disagree with me.

The DVD features a tour of the movie set with Paulie Litt, the kid who plays Speed’s younger brother Spritle. I watched about 5 minutes of this before turning it off in disgust. There’s also a little feature called Speed Racer: Supercharged, which is sort of a commercial for the World Racing League, with little biographies and statistics of a bunch of fictional drivers, cars and tracks. Kinda fun, but kinda boring too.

Country Music Hall of Fame Legendary Performances: Tammy Wynette - DVD Review

2008-09-22T03:51:00.000-07:00

Throughout the late '60s and early '70s, Tammy Wynette reigned supreme as the First Lady of Country Music, racking up an impressive 20 #1 hits. It’s downright insulting to refer to her as anything less than a legend, so it’s quite appropriate that the folks at the Country Music Hall of Fame put together a collection of memorable live interpretations of her biggest hits to be included in their Legendary Performances series.

This hour long DVD includes 15 performances from 1967 all the way through 1981. They’re taken from a variety of sources including The Bill Anderson Show, The Wilburn Brothers Show and even one or two from a show you may have actually heard of, such as a rendition of her legendary song “D-I-V-O-R-C-E” from the 1968 Country Music Awards. There’s even a couple of duets with her then-husband George Jones.

This is classic country music at its finest. Honest-to-goodness country music, not the B-Grade Richard Marx songs dressed up with a steel guitar and a fancy hat that passes for country music these days. This DVD will act as a reminder to some of the golden days of music and will hopefully serve as a lesson plan for those interested in what “country” actually sounds like. There’s no line dancing on this DVD, no washed-up 80’s hair bands covering up their bald spots with cowboy hats. These are introspective songs about hard times and lessons learned: songs to get drunk and cry to while contemplating walking out on your jerk of a husband who’s been out at the bar with his buddies far too long and far too often. These are real songs about real life and you won’t find a “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” among them.

You won’t find a whole lot to be happy about either. I don’t mean that in terms of the performances, as there’s not a bad one in the bunch. What I mean is that listening to an hour’s worth of Tammy Wynette didn’t exactly leave me ready to jump up and dance. 60 minutes worth of songs about heartache, heartbreak, drinking and carousing didn’t make me too proud to be a man either. Even if you don’t know anything about the woman’s personal life, it all comes out in the performances. Her firm jaw and steely eyes punctuate songs like “I Don’t Wanna Play House”, “Don’t Come Home A-Drinkin’ (With Lovin’ On Your Mind)” and “Your Good Girl’s Gonna Go Bad”. The honesty of her voice assures you that Tammy Wynette isn’t simply singing a song, she’s lived it. In fact, by the time she gets around to singing her classic “Stand By Your Man”, you may find yourself shouting at the television “No, don’t stand by him! He’s scum! He’s a loser! Leave the bum!” Or maybe that’s just me.

This DVD is also a fascinating history lesson in terms of style. We start out in the grainy black-and-white of the late 60’s with big bouffant hairdos and Nudie suits and make our way through the polyester and sideburns of the 70’s before ending up in sequined evening gowns of the 80’s. Throughout all of it, the one thing that remains is Tammy’s incredible voice. She sounds just as good in 1981 as she did in 1967. It’s a testament to her talent and another example of why she is due the accolades heaped upon her.

The extras on this DVD include Tammy Wynette’s 1998 induction into the Country Music Hall of Fame and a couple of old interviews with her. It also includes what appears to be local news footage from her 1978 marriage to George Richey, the man she referred to as the love of her life. This footage is awesome and not unlike watching your aunt and uncles’ home movies of their wedding, complete with ruffled polyester tuxes and magnificently blow-dried hairdos.

The fine folks at SHOUT! Factory and the Country Music Hall of Fame have done an excellent job in preserving these great performances for future generations. I found this DVD to be well worth the time I invested in it and a great addition to the collection of any music fan.

Transformers Animated: Season One DVD Review

2008-09-02T20:26:00.000-07:00

The Transformers are back on the small screen with the new Transformers Animated series. Season One collects the first thirteen episodes of the series (minus the pilot which was sold separately) on two discs. The new series falls somewhere in-between the old Transformers cartoon and the wildly successful movie, adding a few new elements to create a continuity all its own.

This version of the series finds a motley crew of Autobots once again trapped on earth, this time in Detroit 50 years in the future. They’re befriended by an 8-year-old human girl named Sari who is the keeper of the Allspark, which has taken the form of a key and acts as a power-supply and healing source. Naturally, a few Decepticons show up to nab the Allspark for their own evil purposes.

When I say “a few Decepticons”, I mean it. The focus of this new series isn’t the war between the Autobots and Decepticons; in fact, that war has been over for centuries! In a move that’s sure to upset old-school Transformers fans, the Autobots operate right out in the open, acting as superheroes. Rather than spending their time trying to get back to Cybertron, they protect Detroit from a variety of human and robot menaces including a supervillain or two. While I certainly don’t find this new story aspect offensive, I do find it to be a bit confusing. I mean, doesn’t operating out in the open for the world to see sort of defeat the whole purpose of being “robots in disguise”?

Confusing alterations aside, I found this series to be a lot of fun. Fans looking for the animated equivalent of the Michael Bay blockbuster or a grim n’ gritty update of their favorite 80’s cartoon should look elsewhere though. This cartoon seems to have been created with the intent of bringing in a new, younger generation of fans. There’s almost as much humor as there is action, and there’s definitely a focus on bringing girls into what was previously considered a boy’s toy line. As the father of a baby girl, that’s cool with me: I’d rather see her playing with fighting robots than dressing up dolls when she gets a little older.

But don’t let the jokes and softer animation style fool you: this show still packs a punch and doesn’t shy away from big-time smash-em-up action. They also don’t shy away from the consequences of such action, which I found to be a welcome change from the old cartoon. The show features plenty of flashbacks from the days of the Cybertronian War which focus on the tragic side of the conflict. There’s a lot of war stories about lost friends and lost lives, without getting too dark or dreary. It’s a far cry from the old days when laser blasts flew everywhere and nobody ever got hurt. Themes of teamwork and responsibility also feature prominently on the show. I have to admit that sometimes it gets a little annoying, but I’m not the show’s target audience. I’ve got a 6-year-old nephew who is a huge fan of the show and neither I nor his parents have any problem with that. There’s some actual lessons hidden underneath all that robot carnage. What more can a parent ask for?

Long story short: Transformers Animated is definitely a show I would recommend to parents and kids alike. Long-time Transformers fans will probably want to stay away, as this version is definitely not made for them. Unless, of course, they’ve got kids of their own and they’re not too hung up on continuity.

The two disc set features full screen format, English and Spanish language tracks, and a Season Two sneak peek photo gallery.

The Good, the Bad and the Golden Army - My Hellboy 2 Review

2008-07-16T09:57:00.000-07:00

So I saw Hellboy 2: The Golden Army yesterday afternoon. Now I'm writing a review. You're reading it (hopefully).

My relationship with Hellboy is a weird one. I saw the movie first, then read the comics. While I enjoyed the movie, reading the comics I thought "My god, the movie is nothing like these books!" But I think it gave me a certain perspective on the whole thing. They're simply two separate entities. In fact, I've heard Mike Mignola and Guillermo del Toro say as much: The film Hellboy is not the same as the comic Hellboy, who is not the same as the animated Hellboy. They're different mediums anyway, so who cares? While I'd love to see an animated or live-action Hellboy that 100% captures the look and feel of the comics, I can live without it and I understand that it's simply impossible. Some stuff doesn't translate. My comics are just fine, and I can read 'em anytime I want.

So back to the review. Here's my two cents in regards to The Golden Army... (I'll try to remain spoiler free, but I may drop a hint or two in terms of certain plot elements, so be forewarned)
Visually, this is the most impressive movie I've seen all summer. The last Hellboy pretty much only had a couple monsters, but this one has them in spades. Goblins, fairies, elves, dwarves and more uglies than you can shake a stick at. The Golden Army itself is a magnificent sight to behold, and every fight scene had me on the edge of my seat. I pretty much couldn't tell what was CGI and what was puppets (or guys in suits) throughout the whole movie.

The story wasn't too shabby either. In a nutshell, it boils down to this: Long ago, there was a battle between the greedy humans and all of the mythological creatures. It was brutal, and a truce was struck whereby the humans would get the cities and the towns, and the creatures would stick to the woods and become the stuff of legend. Flash forward to modern times and an elven prince who's not too happy with that arrangement. He wants to take back what is rightfully his, and since you kinda can't help but agree with him, he ends up being a really great villain. The guy who plays him is great too: if Christian Bale and Tom Cruise somehow had an albino baby, it would be this guy.

Anyway, on the other side of the coin, you've got Hellboy, who wants to out the B.P.R.D. He's tired of living in the shadows, and just wants to be accepted. So his story mirrors the elf prince's somewhat (sorry, I can't remember the guy's name), though not in an antagonistic sort of way. He just wants to fit in.

The overall plot is somewhat predictable, and they gloss over a few story elements here and there, but it's stuff that you can figure out on your own and really nothing that made me dislike the movie. It's got a really nice fairy tale element to it, and there's lots of little hints and clues to Hellboy's background and a sense of mystery that I really enjoy in the comics. At times, it feels like a cheap X-Men imitation though, and that I could do without.

Okay, so the bad... yeah, it's pretty much every time the main characters speak. They're not even like real characters, they're walking cliche's. While I thought their motivations were interesting and realistic, their manner of speaking was far from it. You know that scene in the trailer when Hellboy smashes the monster in the face and then he says "Now stay down!"? That's pretty much the whole movie.

I understand that Hellboy isn't supposed to be the sharpest tack in the drawer, but in this movie, he acts like a giant red seven-year-old with ADD. And not a cute and charming seven-year-old: a bratty annoying one. That's really the downfall of this movie. I kind of ended up rooting for the bad guy, because the heroes annoyed me. That's really a shame, because the beauty of the first Hellboy was how much I really ended up loving all of the characters. This one... not so much.

I get the impression that Guillermo del Toro was sitting in his office, or wherever he works on his movies, and he was thinking "I have to make a movie to appeal to the masses. I have to make a movie that will appeal to the lowest common denominator. I have to act as though I am Michael Bay when I write the dialogue for these characters." And since del Toro doesn't really know how to make a bad movie, he just totally overdid it. Hey, I've been known to like a Michael Bay movie or two in my lifetime, but I expect more from a guy like Guillermo del Toro. So it's a bit dissapointing.

But it's not enough to make me dislike the movie. It's a good story, and as I said before, a visual masterpiece. As much as the characters did annoy me, I have to admit that by the end, I was cheering them on. I mean, who doesn't cheer the good guys? Though most of the flick was played in a broad manner, there were still enough little emotional scenes that I began to care just a tiny little bit.

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army was a weird movie. In a lot of ways, it surpasses the first one, but in others, it falls far short. I think if you're a fan of the first movie, you oughtta give this one a shot. I had a few problems with this flick, but they didn't keep me from enjoying the overall product, so if you're willing to let a few things slide, you will probably enjoy it as well. If nothing else, it's worth the price of admission for the monsters.

Batman: Gotham Knight review

2008-07-16T06:56:00.000-07:00

When you gather six totally awesome writers and six totally awesome directors, the end product should be nothing less than totally awesome, right? While Batman: Gotham Knight falls just shy of the totally awesome mark, it definitely deserves a spot in the pantheon of animated superhero offerings and a place on your DVD shelf.

The movie boasts a host of comicdom’s finest writers such as Greg Rucka, Brian Azzarello and Batman Begins scriptwriter David Goyer and some of the (allegedly) top directors from the world of anime. I say “allegedly” because to be totally honest with you, my interest in anime pretty much peaked with Voltron and Akira. I’ve got nothing against the stuff, mind you: I’m actually quite impressed with everything I’ve seen. But in the busy world of geekdom, it’s just a subject I haven’t found time to become well-educated in. So when the back of the DVD package says that these guys are the top directors in their field, I’ve got to take them at their word.

The film consists of six independent segments offering different viewpoints on Batman, from some Gotham City youths to the new guy on the police force to Batman himself. Each segment has a different writer and a different director and while they can be watched separately, they form a greater whole when watched together. It reminded me a bit of The Animatrix for a couple of reasons. The first being that it’s made up of a bunch of different pieces and different styles, and the second being that it takes place squarely between the last Batman movie and the next Batman movie. The biggest difference is that The Dark Knight probably won’t be as much of a disappointment as The Matrix sequels were. But that’s neither here nor there.

While it’s probably not necessary to watch Gotham Knight in order to watch The Dark Knight, it does serve as a nice little bridge between Begins and its upcoming sequel. It gives us a few different looks into Batman’s psyche and what drives him to do what he does and the manner in which he does it. As a fanboy, I really enjoyed the little nods to Chris Nolan’s film. This movie features Lieutenant (not Commissioner) Jim Gordon, and a Gotham City dealing with the aftereffects of the Arkham Asylum breakout. Lucius Fox shows up, playing a role quite similar to the one he played in Batman Begins. We see a young Batman learning the ropes, and an expanded origin story that doesn’t dwell solely on the night his parents were killed, but also shows us the paths he took to become the Dark Night Detective, much like Batman Begins showed us his training with Ra’s al Ghul.

My only real complaint with the film is that despite the advertisements stating that it features “Six totally different versions of the Batman mythos”, it actually only gives us six slightly different versions of Batman. Not that I’m complaining about the artwork or the stories; but they really weren’t all that astounding in their variation. Yes, Batman/Bruce Wayne was drawn differently in each segment, but I got the feeling the animators played it a bit safe. I was expecting some real night-and-day variations on the Caped Crusader, but really only got some “night-and-dusk” variations. I was expecting the differences between segments to be akin to comparisons between Superfriends and Batman: The Animated Series, but it was more like comparing Batman:TAS to Justice League Unlimited: different, but certainly not a drastic change. Is this really worth complaining about? Absolutely not, but this is a movie review, so you have to expect I’ll find something to complain about, right? A critic’s gotta be critical.

At the end of the day, Batman: Gotham Knight is a worthy addition to your DVD shelf, especially if you’re a big Batman fan. It didn’t blow my doors down by any means, but it was an entertaining new addition to the Batman mythos and something I’ll definitely watch again. I’m hoping that DC and Warner Brothers will continue to release stuff like this in-between their movies, and more importantly, that they’ll continue to release high quality animated fare suitable for adults as well as children.

The two-DVD set contains a ton of extras. There’s commentary by DC Comics Senior Vice President of Creative Affairs Gregory Noveck, former Batman Editor Dennis O’Neil and Kevin Conroy, aka “The Voice of Batman”, a sneak peek at the upcoming Wonder Woman animated feature two documentaries and four episodes of Batman: The Animated Series.

The documentaries include Batman and Me: The Bob Kane Story, an enlightening look at Batman’s creator, and A Mirror For the Bat, the obligatory look into Batman and his rogue’s gallery that seems to accompany every Batman DVD release. I found both of these documentaries to be very interesting and well worth the extra price one pays for a two-disc set. Plus, you get four episodes of the animated show! That’s a lot of bang for your buck. Go ahead and buy the deluxe version.

Swamp Thing : the series Volume Two

2008-07-16T05:43:00.000-07:00

The character of Swamp Thing has had a very rich history since he was first created by Len Wein and Bernie Wrightson for DC Comics in 1972. Thanks to the immense talents of his creators, the initial series turned out to be a surprise hit for four years or so. In 1982, Wes Craven wrote and directed a low budget horror film based on the character which led to something of a revival. The movie is fondly remembered by nerds everywhere for two things: the terrible Swamp Thing costume that looked like paper machè and for giving us an all too brief glimpse of Adrienne Barbeau’s breasts.

The ‘82 revival eventually led to Alan Moore’s classic run on the series which led to a movie sequel, The Return of Swamp Thing, a film notable for its awesome opening montage set to Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Born on the Bayou” and it’s terrible sense of humor. Swamp Thing continued to live on in both animated and live-action form on the small screen. In 1991, the USA Network commissioned a total of 72 episodes of a Swamp Thing series. I enjoyed the series as a youth and for the past month or so, I’ve had the distinct privilege of watching the majority of them again. Oh, did I say privilege? I think the word I’m actually looking for is a little closer to torture.

The first volume of the Swamp Thing television series features the first two seasons totaling 22 episodes. Now, the first season is an absolute turd, but I have to admit that by the end of the second season, I was getting into it. The show had been re-tooled and was turning into something of a guilty pleasure for me. The scripts were getting better and while most of the acting was subpar, Mark Lindsay Chapman was a pretty entertaining Anton Arcane, and it’s always good to see Dick Durock in the big green moss-covered suit. When volume two arrived for me to review, I was actually pretty excited. It contained the first 26 episodes of the series’ 50-episode third season. With the groundwork being laid down in season two, I figured that season three was going to be a barnburner!

Turns out I was wrong. All of the interesting subplots that were introduced in the second season were still there, but they were downplayed a bit, and never really expanded upon. What’s worse is that Swamp Thing began to pretty much just appear in a brief cameo at the beginning and end of each episode. He might pop in to save the day and maybe spout some words of wisdom, but that’s about it. Everything went right back to the old formulaic garbage I had to sit through in the first season.

To make matters worse, there aren’t any extras on this set. Hell, they could’ve just thrown a commercial or two on there and I would’ve been happy. But it was not to be. Swamp Thing: The Series Volume Two turned out to be a letdown, but since I had invested this much in the show, I figured I might as well see it through to the end. Slogging through that series was not unlike making my way through a dank and frightening swamp, but I made my way, and I’d like to think I’m a better man for it. What doesn’t kill us will only make us stronger, no?

I’m not sure when Volume Three comes out, but you can bet that I’ll be here to review it when it does. I have to give Shout! Factory a lot of credit. I can’t possibly imagine that anyone in the world has any interest in this series except me, but here it is in all its DVD glory. Is it a good series? No. But I can think of worse ways to pass the time and this can be done without expending any extra energy or brain cells. If you’re a die hard comic fan or Swamp Thing completist, Swamp Thing: The Series Volume Two is a must-have for your collection. Now bring on Volume Three!

Swamp Thing:the series Volume One - DVD Review

2008-07-06T17:40:00.000-07:00

I was 14 years old when the Swamp Thing television series began to air on the USA Network. I faithfully watched every week, and for reasons unbeknownst to me, my mother joined me in viewing this fine piece of American television every Friday night. Much like me, I guess she didn’t have anything better to do on a Friday night. As I got older, I began to appreciate little things like this: obviously, some parents will do whatever it takes to connect with their children on some level.

Having spent the past two weeks immersing myself in Volume One of the Swamp Thing television series, I appreciate my mother even more. Any parent willing to sit through this show on a weekly basis is truly dedicated and possibly deserving of some sort of Parent of the Year Award.

Okay, okay. It isn’t that bad. But it isn’t that good either. Swamp Thing: The Series Volume One, recently released by Shout! Factory, contains the first two seasons of the cult classic series, totaling 22 episodes. Reprising his role as the muck-encrusted mockery of man is stuntman-turned-actor Dick Durock. Mark Lindsay Chapman portrays Dr. Anton Arcane, Swamp Thing’s evil nemisis, and Carrell Myers rounds out the cast as Tressa Kipp, a divorced mother who has recently relocated to Houma, Louisiana to start a new life with her young son Jim. I’m not sure what the name of the actor is who played Jim, and to be frank, it isn’t worth my time or yours to look it up. The kid is terrible. He makes Jake Lloyd’s performance in The Phantom Menace look like Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood.

The first season finds Tressa moving into her familial estate on the outskirts of the mysterious swamp inhabited by Swamp Thing. Her son Jim has a reputation as a compulsive liar, so naturally Tressa doubts his tales of the swamp creature he’s befriended, but what becomes very clear to her in little time is the evil nature of Anton Arcane, a local mad scientist. (I guess every small southern town has one.) Arcane’s goals are never exactly stated, but he basically spends all of his time either hitting on Tressa or splicing the genes of humans and animals together.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Swamp Thing comic books, here’s the basic gist of the story: Scientists Alec and Linda Holland were working on a bio-restorative formula capable of rapidly increasing the growth of plants. When their lab was sabotaged, Linda was killed and Alec was doused in the formula. He ran into the swamp and several days later, Swamp Thing emerged. Anton Arcane is a wizened old codger well-versed in black magic who is constantly trying to capture Swamp Thing in order to transfer his mind into Swampy’s body. For the purposes of the television series, this story has been slightly changed so that Dr. Arcane is a strapping young scientist responsible for blowing up his rivals’ laboratory. When he’s not creating bird-men or trying to get a piece of Tressa Kipp’s action, Arcane occasionally tries to capture Swamp Thing in an attempt to find the secret to the bio-restorative formula. No reason is given, but when you’re a mad scientist, do you really need one?

For the first season, the series basically follows a monster-of-the-week formula, sometimes without the monster. Something weird happens in the swamp, Jim and/or his mother is placed in danger and Swamp Thing acts as something of a deus ex machina, showing up for about 5 minutes to bring someone back to life or frighten away Arcane and his goons. It’s very basic and very bland.

Season One’s finale finally gives us a reason for Arcane’s genetic menagerie: he’s creating mindless slaves to sell on the black market. This episode sees Jim get captured and sent to a work camp and (thankfully) written out of the series. The series was retooled for Season Two, introducing Jim’s older step-brother Will and bringing on Kari Wuhrer as Abigail. The show became more action oriented, the scripts got a lot better and… dare I say it? The series actually started getting pretty good.

In Season Two, we find out that Arcane is just a small part of a larger evil organization which is headed by General Sunderland. Sunderland essentially plays the same role that Arcane played in the comics. He’s an old man who wants a new body, and he hopes that Alec Holland’s bio-restorative formula will be the key. In addition, it is revealed that Arcane hopes that the formula will hold the secret to saving his wife, who is kept alive in some sort of stasis after a near-death experience. Apparently, the writers realized that actually giving your characters some sort of motivation makes them vastly more interesting.

Will Kipp (played by Scott Garrison) basically takes over Jim’s role, only he’s in his early 20’s and isn’t completely annoying. It seemed that the creators of this series still felt a need to have a complete black hole of talent on the show though, and Kari Wuhrer was added to fill that void. She’s also pretty easy on the eyes, and her constantly being outfitted in very short shorts in nearly every episode may further explain why the second season outshines the first. Her character’s name is Abigail (no relation to Abigail from the Swamp Thing comics), and apparently she was created in a laboratory as another one of Sunderland’s experiments.

The tone of the series becomes much darker in the second season, but it also maintains a sense of humor. Not a particularly funny sense of humor, but there’s a few good jokes here and there. Swamp Thing’s role is expanded, and we begin to see more of the inner turmoil of a man trapped in the body of a plant. Also, Arcane’s experiments become more violent in nature, and we get to see Swampy throw a few stuntmen through some breakaway windows. It’s almost as though the creators used the first season as a test run and completely reinvented it with Season Two. The much-needed improvements make for a much better show.

But is the show really any good? Well, it’s as good as you’d expect an early 90’s made-for-USA series to be. I can’t deny that by the end of the second season, I was really enjoying it quite a bit, but I will also freely admit that anyone who isn’t already a fan of Swamp Thing probably won’t find a whole lot to enjoy in this series. It’s what I always refer to as a “Sunday afternoon show”. When you’re sitting on the couch on Sunday afternoon, winding down after a long weekend and you have nothing better to do, it’s not a terrible way to pass the time. It doesn’t take much effort to watch the show, and if you fall asleep during an episode, you won’t really be too upset that you missed it.

The DVDs also feature some interviews with Swamp Thing co-creator Len Wein and star Dick Durock. These little vignettes are really quite interesting and are definitely a must-watch if you’re a fan of the comics, movies or television series.

Transformers Animated: Transform & Roll Out - DVD Review

2008-06-16T19:31:00.000-07:00

Watching the 68 minute pilot for the new Transformers cartoon was a lot like one of those old Frosted Mini-Wheats commercials: The adult in me appreciated the fact that the series had an updated storyline that would appeal to kids, but didn’t alienate the old school fans. I enjoyed the manga-influenced animation style and the since I’m a Michigan native, I especially liked the fact that it’s based in Detroit. The kid in me just loved the fact that The Transformers are back!

The new Transformers Animated series combines elements of the classic 1980’s series and the new Michael Bay blockbuster film to create a continuity all its own. In this series, the Cybertronian Wars are long-over and have been relegated to t he arena of myth and legend. Optimus Prime leads a very small group of Autobots who are basically an outer space cleanup crew. They stumble upon the All-Spark, get chased by Decepticons and end up on Earth at the bottom of Lake Erie. 50 years later, Detroit has become the leader in cybernetic technology, due to a local professor’s discovery of Megatron’s head, which was severed in the explosion that put the Autobots in stasis at the bottom of the lake half a decade prior. Starscream discovers that the Autobots (and the All-Spark) are on earth, and high-tech hi-jinks, action and adventure ensue.

I wasn’t sure about this new Transformers series when I first heard about it, but it’s definitely grown on me, and I actually like it quite a bit. This is mainly because of the interaction between the characters. The Autobots aren’t written as battle-weary soldiers; instead, they’re presented as a ragtag group of misfits who don’t always get along. As they wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons, the Autobots learn how to function as a team, and what it means to be a hero. It’s got a good message for kids, but it isn’t too heavy handed that adults will want to wretch. The subplots involving their human friends and the foreshadowed return of Megatron are interesting enough to keep both child and adult entertained.

The few problems I had with Transform and Roll Out were really just nitpicky geek stuff. I didn’t like the fact that the Autobots operated out in the open and were essentially a team of robot superheroes. To me, this goes against the very idea of “robots in disguise”, but it’s really a pretty minor gripe. Also, the feature felt more like three episodes smooshed together, rather than an actual movie. I’m guessing this is because it actually was just three episodes smooshed together. Again: not really a big deal.

In addition to the feature, there are also two shorts on the DVD, each about 5 minutes long. These are basically little comedy spots, focusing on the individual personalities of the Autobots. They’re actually pretty funny, and I’m sure the kids in your household will enjoy them. All-in-all, Transformers Animated: Transform and Roll Out is a welcome continuation of the Transformers franchise, and in my opinion, should appeal to old and new fans alike.

CHiPs Season Two DVD Review

2008-06-05T19:29:00.000-07:00

The 1978-79 television season saw the brave men and women of the California Highway Patrol, also known as CHiPs, return for a second season. Focusing on the hot headed Frank “Ponch” Poncherello (Erik Estrada) and his straight-laced partner Jon Baker (Larry Wilcox), this four-disc set features 22 episodes full of sunny days, cool cars, pretty girls and a bunch of cops who smile a lot and never draw their guns.

CHiPs featured a charming blend of comedy and drama and is a great example of a bygone era of police television. This isn’t CSI: Special Rape Unit, Law & Order: Crooked Cops or one of the many current shows featuring flawed characters and violent police officers. Everyone working for the California Highway Patrol is a good, honest cop: clean cut, well groomed and mannered, and always showing off their enormous, sparkling teeth. I don’t know much about law enforcement, but if CHiPs is any indication of how things are run out west, they’ve got one hell of a good dental plan.

These cops are not out to fill quotas or abuse their power; they’re on the road to serve the cause of justice. Oh, and sometimes to pick up chicks. Actually, that’s pretty much every episode. I don’t know if it’s the teeth, the motorcycles or the tight pants, but the ladies really dig Ponch and Jon. Nary an episode goes by that doesn’t feature them hitting on or being hit on by attractive women. I guess it’s all in a day’s work for the California Highway Patrol.

As far as the show goes, I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. I remember watching a lot of CHiPs reruns as a kid, and I remember my older sister’s larger-than-life poster of Erik Estrada that hung in her bedroom like a shrine to a golden god, but I couldn’t remember whether or not the show was actually any good. To be honest, I didn’t expect much. I figured it would be another old TV show that brought back fond memories and lots of laughs, but didn’t really hold up. Have you ever watched The A-Team or Knight Rider lately? Those were two of my favorite series as a kid, but I can’t even stomach more than 15 minutes of an episode now. No wonder they call television “the boob tube”.

But CHiPs was pretty good. Okay, it was pretty cheesy, with some corny dialogue and bad jokes, but the stories weren’t too bad. I’ll admit, the sweet clothing and funky music of the 1970’s was often more appealing than the actual plot, but in the defense of CHiPs, the plot did hold my interest. Maybe it was my low expectations or maybe I was just mystified by the wit and charm of Ponch and Jon, but I actually did enjoy watching these DVDs. I figured I’d have a hard time getting through this series, but I ended up relishing my time spent on patrol with the good men and women of CHiPs.

I don’t really think anyone is reading this review in order to determine whether or not they’ll purchase the second season of CHiPs though. I have to believe that anyone buying it is a longtime fan who wants to relive the halcyon days of their youth, when cops didn’t pistol-whip suspects into submission and television was a bit simpler. If you do fall into the first camp, I don’t really know what to tell you. You’ll most likely be disappointed with this rather dated cop show. If you’re in the second group, I’d recommend that you go ahead and pick up CHiPs Season Two. It’s a great trip down memory lane that just might surprise you.

The four-disc set features 22 episodes and two special features, though I’d use that term very loosely. The first is a featurette in which Erik Estrada interviews some actual California Highway Patrol officers. It’s pretty dull, but worth watching just to hear Estrada say “us” and “we”, as though he is actually a cop. The second “special feature” is just a two hour flashback episode in which Ponch and Jon’s teammates relive the duo’s greatest adventures of the first two seasons. It’s not a bad episode, but it hardly qualifies as a special feature.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - Special Edition DVD Review

2008-05-13T19:48:00.000-07:00

The summer of 2008 brings us the release of the highly anticipated, but wholly unnecessary fourth film in the Indiana Jones series, and with such a momentous occasion looming on the horizon, Paramount has seen fit to milk few more bucks out of pop culture afficionados by re-releasing the first three movies in all-new super-fancy special editions. “The first time they’ve been released in special edition format”, as the commercials are quick to point out. Buy them now before they release a four-film box set, and you have to buy them again!

I had planned on revisiting them anyway, so it worked out well for me. It had been a long time since I’d watched any of the Indy flicks, so I was pretty excited. I was ready for adventure, excitement and bare knuckle brawling, but I never anticipated what would happen when I watched Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Let me dial the clock back a bit to my childhood. I loved Indiana Jones. Still do, in fact. But as a kid, there’s a special kind of magic there, and the oft-maligned Temple of Doom was my favorite film of the three. As I grew older and reached my cynical 20’s, the second Indy film fell out of favor with me. Raiders of the Lost Ark was clearly the superior film, Temple just seemed like a bad joke and I viewed Last Crusade as an attempt to apologize.

To me, Raiders was more pure: an homage to old Republic serials and adventurers like Alan Quartermain and Doc Savage. A fond memory of a bygone era where men were men and the world was full of mystery and high adventure. Dark jungles and scary natives. Mystical objects and, of course, Nazis. I hate those guys.

Temple of Doom, on the other hand, just seemed too shiny, too Hollywood. It had a kid sidekick and an annoying girl, witty banter that lacked any actual humor and a hokey storyline featuring Indy as the “chosen one” of sorts. It featured Kate Capshaw delivering the worst performance ever captured on film (and I’m including every movie Keanu Reeves has ever been in). It was almost like a parody of an Indiana Jones film.

So I watched it again, for the first time in I don’t know how long, and I felt like I was viewing it for the first time. Boy was I wrong about this one! It’s got all the bare-knuckle brawlin’, the high adventure and the escapism of Raiders, and this one’s got elephants too! Yeah, Indy’s got a kid sidekick, but as it turns out, he’s not nearly as annoying as I thought he was. In fact, he was rather funny, and in all honesty, it’s an element that’s actually pretty accurate. Lots of old-timey pulp heroes from the 30’s and 40’s had minority stereotypes as sidekicks. Why should Indiana Jones be any different?

Kate Capshaw’s performance, on the other hand, can not be so easily excused. She was sleeping with the director, and it shows. That woman is an absolute atrocity, and every scene she’s in can be counted among the worst in film history. Blech!

As for the rest of the film: two thumbs up. It’s a crazy, over-the-top roller coaster ride of a movie that starts off with a bang and doesn’t let up until the very end. But you already knew that, right? Because unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past two decades, you’ve already seen this movie. But if you’re like me, and you’ve been giving it a bad rap: give it another chance. Sure, it’s still shiny and Hollywood, but it’s just plain fun. I had a hard time keeping a big silly grin off of my face as I watched this movie.

It looks a lot nicer too. Every time they re-release these films, they clean them up a bit, which is appreciated. As for the special features, they’re pretty cool, but not as in-depth as the stuff that was on the box set that was released a few years ago. There’s a new introduction from Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, a little vignette about the various insects used in the film, and a little “on location” documentary. The mine cart chase scene storyboards, photo gallery and Lego Indiana Jones demo are only going to interest a select few though.

I'm Not There - 2 disc Collector's Edition DVD Review

2008-05-05T20:11:00.000-07:00

Perhaps I’m not the best person to write a review of a movie based on Bob Dylan’s life. While I’m definitely a fan of his music, and hold his songwriting ability in high regard, I’m not one of those folks who owns all of the albums, all the bootlegs and has seen Bob in concert a million times. I like most of what I’ve heard from the man, and have been touched by more than a few of his tunes, but I’ll admit to missing the deeper meaning in a lot of his stuff as well. I dig the guy, and respect his talent and his legacy, but I’m not a member of the “Church of Bob” by any means.

On the other hand, maybe I’m the perfect choice? I won’t be watching the film through the eyes of an obsessed Dylan fan, but simply watching a film as a lover of cinema. My review won’t be written through the haze of rose colored glasses or biased in any way due to idol worship. It’ll just be a review of a movie based on a guy I know a little about, but have heard a whole lot about. But enough about me and my lack of Dylan knowledge, let’s get to the review.

If you’re looking for a deeper insight into Bob Dylan the man, or a by-the-book biography, you’re not going to find it in Todd Haynes’ I’m Not There. Rather than tell a straightforward tale that starts at Point A and takes the logical route to Point B, C and so on, Haynes tells a very non-linear tale, jumping around through different eras, shooting in different film stocks and casting six different actors in the lead role. In fact, none of the characters in the film are even called Bob Dylan. I’m Not There is a movie that is every bit as mysterious as Dylan’s lyrics and as enigmatic as the man himself.

We’re not really getting the story of Bob Dylan’s life here, we’re getting a bunch of animated snapshots of his career and public persona. It’s a very surreal experience, full of metaphor and symbolism. It’s a lot like a Dylan song brought to life, and like many Dylan songs, I won’t pretend that I understood the deeper meaning behind all of it. Like Dylan’s singing voice, the film’s voice can be a bit on the abrasive side at times, but like most of Dylan’s music, I can’t help but see the talent behind the whole thing, and on occasion, be quite moved by it.

Casting six actors as different aspects of Dylan’s personality is a risky gambit. It could fall very easily into the realm of the pretentious and annoying art film. Luckily for the viewer, it does not. Well, not very often, at any rate, and even when it does, the performances are so captivating, you can’t help but enjoy it anyway. A lot has already been said about Cate Blanchett’s performance as Dylan at the height of his fame, so I won’t go into too much further detail. I’ll simply tell you that she is awesome. If you’ve ever watched an old interview with the man, you’ll see that she’s got his mannerisms and voice down to a science. It’s actually a pretty freaky thing to watch.

I’m Not There is not a film for everybody though. As I’ve already said, the story is not told with any type of structure. This is not a biopic along the lines of La Bamba, Ray or Walk The Line. It’s actually a bit slow moving and even mildly boring at times. It is, however, a film that is every bit as creative as the man whom it is about. If you’re a hardcore Dylan fan, I’m guessing this film is one you won’t want to miss. If you’re not, it’s an interesting look at a legend and his body of work, and it’s worth checking out anyway.

The two-disc collector’s edition features on-screen song lyrics, commentary and an introduction by director/co-writer Todd Haynes. The second disc has got all the outtakes, deleted scenes, auditions and interviews with cast and crew that you could possibly ask for, plus a “Dylanography” with filmography, discography, bibliography, chronology and probably a few other “ologys” that weren’t mentioned on the box.

Juno - DVD Review (single disc release)

2008-04-13T17:04:00.000-07:00

It seemed to be everyone’s favorite movie of 2007, and since I didn’t get the opportunity to see Juno in the theaters, I was excited to be able to write the review for its DVD release. Would it live up to the high praise that everyone, from fans to critics, had given it? Or would it inevitably fall short, as so many über-hyped movies do?

For those who have been living under a rock for the past five months, here’s the nutshell version of the plot: Juno is a sixteen-year-old girl who discovers she is pregnant. The father of the child is her longtime friend Paulie Bleeker. Paulie and Juno are probably in love, but Juno doesn’t realize it yet. Deciding against an abortion, Juno finds a nice couple in the classified section of the newspaper and decides to give the child up for adoption. Comedy, drama, witty dialogue and strategically placed pop songs ensue.

So for those who haven’t seen it: does Juno live up to the hype, the awards and the nominations? In a word, yes. In two words, “yes, but…” Before I started writing this, I looked on Rotten Tomatoes and saw that the film had a 93% positive rating. I’m going to go ahead and agree with that. This movie was 93% awesome. I’ll get to the other 7% later.

The script, by first time screenwriter Diablo Cody (is one still allowed to use their stripper name when one is no longer a stripper?), is funny, heartwarming and heartbreaking all at the same time. It goes in places I never expected, all the way up to the very end. What could have been a very predictable, by-the-numbers plot ends up being surprisingly fresh and original. That Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay was well deserved.

I know there were some complaints about the language in the movie. Basically, the kids speak in their own sort of slang that was confusing to some, and downright incomprehensible to others. Personally, I think it was pretty cool and gave the film a unique voice all its own. I know quite a few teenagers, and while I’ve never heard them speak in a fashion even remotely similar to the way the kids speak in this movie, I know what it’s like to have a sort of “inside language” that you use among your friends. It worked. More importantly, it never felt forced or unnatural. I suppose a lot of the credit for this has to go to the cast.

Speaking of the cast: they’re awesome. There’s really not a bad actor in the bunch. Extra kudos have to go to Jason Bateman, who brings an unexpected balance to a character that could’ve been played in a very one-dimensional fashion, and to Jennifer Garner, who’s never really impressed me that much before, but is very lovable in this role. Michael Cera is, as usual, fantastic, though I’m starting to get a little tired of him playing almost the same character in every single role he takes. I can’t complain about a good performance though, so I won’t. I look forward to every Michael Cera performance, and this one does not disappoint.

Which brings us to Ellen Page in the title role as Juno. Page plays Juno as though she was a 38-year-old woman trapped in a 16-year-old’s body. Having seen Ellen Page interviewed, I’m convinced that she probably is a 30-year-old woman trapped in a 16-year-old’s body. Here’s the thing about Juno: She’s caustic and witty. She’s ten times more sassy than any character in anything Joss Whedon could ever hope to write. (If you’ve ever watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Firefly, you know what I’m talking about.) While Page’s performance is quite natural, her character toes a fine line between humorously charming and incredibly annoying. By the end of the film, that line has been crossed on more than one occasion, and that’s exactly the 7% I was talking about earlier. Hey, I love a sarcastic know-it-all as much as the next guy, but even I have my limits. It’s just a bit too much. 7% too much, to be exact. Witty comebacks are great, but Juno’s comebacks are far too calculated and run the risk of making her character unlikable. Does it ruin the movie? No, it absolutely does not. Does it distract and make the viewer roll his eyes? In the case of this reviewer, yes, quite a bit.

Aside from my one gripe, I have to concur that Juno does, in fact, live up to the heaps of praise that have been laid upon it. It’s a comedy that ends up being more than a little bit sad, and it’s a drama that’ll make you laugh out loud. Well-rounded characters, great performances and an original plot add up to a great flick that will find a welcome home on your rental queue or perhaps even your DVD shelf.

The DVD has a few extra features which basically amount to a bunch of mini-documentaries about the making of the film, including interviews with the cast, director and writer about the process of bringing the film to the screen. These extras are also well worth your time, and add a welcome insight for those who are seeking further knowledge about the creators and the film.

WWE: The Music Volume 8 - Review

2008-03-28T18:35:00.000-07:00

It’s probably safe to say that very few people are buying WWE theme song albums because of their originality or artistic merit. Most folks who purchase these albums are probably either die hard wrestling fans or stone deaf. Since I own a few of them and I passed my most recent hearing test, I’m going to put myself in the former category.

For years now, Jim Johnston has been the musical mastermind behind the WWE wrestlers theme songs, crafting tunes with driving, repetitive beats that might be well suited for action movies or workout tapes. With this effort he delivers yet another album full of derivative theme songs. “WWE: The Music Volume 8” offers a smorgasbord of unoriginal tunes: songs that sound like bad bar band versions of AC/DC songs, Jimi Hendrix songs, and a variety of pop music clichés.

This is not to say that pro wrestlers’ theme songs should be totally original works of art. Theme music is primarily used to get a crowd reaction. It’s an easy way to get a characters persona across to a large audience who might be sitting in the nosebleed seats. It’s a way to show folks watching at home who the wrestler is and what he represents. “Hey, this guy’s music sounds a lot like AC/DC. He must be a badass!” To say that a wrestler’s theme music sounds derivative isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, sometimes it’s quite necessary. Theme music should not, however, be bland and uninteresting.

In a business that thrives on getting a pop from a live crowd, introducing a character with boring music is akin to committing a form of career suicide. I’m going to assume that most of you who are reading this review are fans of professional wrestling, so I’m going to throw a few names at you: “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. The Rock. Hulk Hogan. Triple H. Ultimate Warrior. Ted DiBiase. The Road Warriors. What do these men all have in common? When you heard their theme music, you knew that business was about to pick up. You knew that the fit was about to hit the shan, in a manner of speaking. Their music was synonymous with their character. It put goosebumps on your skin and made your hair stand on end because when that music hit, you knew that the hard-earned money you plunked down for those tickets or for that Pay-Per-View show was going to be worth it. The theme songs on “WWE: The Music Volume 8” will put you to sleep, if you’re lucky.

Typically in a music review, I might focus on several songs that caught my attention. I might tell you about a track that was particularly good, or one that was abysmally bad. Unfortunately, I can not do that with this album, because it all ran together similar to the way that whatever foods you have eaten throughout the day might join together to form excrement at the end of the day (or the beginning or middle, or perhaps several times over, depending on how regular you are). But you’ve continued to read this far, so I guess I owe it to you to give it a shot.

I suppose I’d be lying if I said there weren’t a couple of standout tracks on the album. “Sliced Bread”, performed by WWE Diva Jillian, is a terribly sung rip-off of a Brittney Spears-style piece of pop trash, but since it’s supposed to be a terribly sung rip-off of a Brittney Spears-style piece of pop trash, I guess I would consider it to be good (I have a hard time bringing myself to use that word in association with this album). Considering his recent suspension for violating the WWE’s Health & Wellness Plan, the lines “… so you see the writing on the wall” and “You’re the architect of your own defeat” in Jeff Hardy’s theme song seem somehow prophetic and a bit ironic.

In a sense, the album does what theme music should do: there’s a boring hair metal song for the guys with long hair, a power ballad of sorts for the guys who’re supposed to be known for having a lot of heart, and a faux reggae song for the guy from Jamaica. In that sense, they do represent the wrestlers’ personas, but if I listened to this album without being familiar with the WWE’s current product, I would assume their matches consisted of little more than a series of wristlocks and rest holds, with no fun, and no fast-paced, high flying action. I would assume that the show was outdated and couldn’t hold my interest for more than 30 seconds. Long story short, I wouldn’t be interested in the least.

Into The Wild - DVD Review

2008-03-02T12:32:00.000-08:00

Into The Wild, based on the book by Jon Krakauer, tells the true story of Christopher Johnson McCandless, aka Alexander Supertramp, and his journey of self-discovery. After graduating from Emory University in 1991 at the top of his class, McCandless donated his entire $24,000 life savings to charity, severed communication with his family, and hit the open road in an attempt to live as simply as possible, exchanging services for food and shelter. His ultimate goal was Alaska, to live in the manner of his heroes Jack London, John Muir and Henry David Thoreau: on his own, in communion with nature.

I read Jon Krakauer’s book last year, shortly before the movie was released. To say that it was a moving account would be putting it mildly. Krakauer, through interviews and tales of his own experiences in the wilderness, gives the reader a very complete picture of a young man searching for something modern society could not give him. Though I’m not much of an outdoorsman, I found a lot I could relate to in McCandless’ disillusionment , and the book became an instant favorite of mine. It’s the type of book that makes one very hesitant to see a filmed version of the story. It didn’t seem possible that a movie could hit the same notes, and have the emotional resonance that the book did. There simply would not be enough room for detail.

Who am I to doubt Sean Penn? The man was so in love with the book, he fought for ten years to finally secure the film rights before not only writing the screenplay, but directing as well. Penn is as talented behind the camera as he is in front of it, and with Into The Wild, he has delivered a masterpiece, doing justice to both Krakauer’s book and the real life of Chris McCandless. It’s as good of an adaptation as one could hope for.

The movie takes a slightly different approach than the book, going for a less documentary style, and a more linear storytelling technique. For those of you who haven’t read the book, that probably doesn’t matter much. For those of you who have: it’s pretty amazing how well this film manages to adapt the story, and how completely it gets into McCandless’ head to examine all of his motivations. Certain elements are embellished somewhat, but the focus of the book remains intact.

But you’re not reading this review for a book-to-film comparison, you want to know how the movie was, right? It’s amazing. The scenery in this film is absolutely breathtaking and awe inspiring. Since this was the source of McCandless’ inspiration, a lot of attention is shown to the beauty of the natural world.

The same could be said about the actors. Emile Hirsch plays McCandless with such a gee-whiz naiveté that while you can’t help but like him, you also see a clear view of the lost little boy in his soul. If the real life Chris McCandless was this genuine, then it isn’t hard to figure out why this young man touched so many lives on his journey. William Hurt, Marcia Gay Harden, Catherine Keener and Vince Vaughn each play their parts to perfection. Hal Holbrook is just… wow. The story of the character he portrayed was one of my favorite parts of the book, and Holbrook did it a great service with his performance.

Of course, one cannot overlook Eddie Vedder’s contribution to the film. Hand-picked by Sean Penn to provide a few original songs, Vedder enriches the entire experience, whether he is singing an obviously McCandless-inspired song, or simply wailing and plucking strings on a guitar. There’s a very ethereal quality to his music which gives the film the same sort of feeling that one might have when looking back fondly on a particularly moving experience in their own life, melancholy and heart warming at the same time. The movie is top-notch all the way around.

In addition to the film, the DVD also features two short documentaries on the filmmaking experience. One focuses on the characters, the other on the film as a whole. Featuring interviews with the director, most of the actors, and even author Jon Krakauer, it’s well worth your time to watch them. The only thing missing from this 2-disc set was a copy of the book, which deserves a spot on everyone’s personal “to read” list just as the film deserves a spot on their “to watch” list.

Awake - DVD Review

2008-02-24T11:03:00.000-08:00

Awake is, to the best of my knowledge, the first film to tackle the concept of “anesthetic awareness”, in which a patient is fully conscious of their experiences throughout surgery, though they are completely paralyzed and helpless to do anything. They can hear everything going on around them, they can feel every second of pain, but they can not alert anyone to their suffering. I don’t mean to make light of anyone’s tragedy, but the same description can be used to describe how I felt watching this movie to write my review. Trapped. Forced to listen and endure the pain. Hearing everything and feeling incredibly uncomfortable, but having no power to stop it. My apologies for a tasteless joke – but bad movies inspire bad humor.

Awake, written and directed by Joby Harold, tells the story of Clay Beresford (Hayden Christensen), a young businessman involved in a secret love affair with his mother’s personal assistant, Sam Lockwood (Jessica Alba). Clay suffers from an undisclosed heart condition that necessitates a heart transplant, and he intends to have his friend Dr. Jack Harper (Terrance Howard) perform the surgery despite the four malpractice suits Harper is facing. Clay’s overbearing and domineering mother (played with an incestuous flair by Lena Olin) wants the procedure done by a close friend of hers, who is one of the top doctors in the world.

Clay and Sam reveal their engagement to his mother, a fight occurs, the couple rush to get married and on that very same night, a donor is found. Clay is rushed to surgery, and on the operating table, he experiences anesthetic awareness. Completely awake and aware of the slice of the scalpel, the discomfort of the breathing tube, and the opening of his chest cavity, Clay is nevertheless able to crack a few jokes and delight the viewer with a terribly monotone voiceover. During the procedure, he also becomes enlightened to a devious plot to end his life. The rest of the film is essentially Clay reliving the first half of the movie via an out-of-body experience, and figuring out the details of the crime, along with learning a life lesson or two.

On paper, Awake probably sounded like a really good idea. There’s a few decent plot twists, and it is somewhat interesting to watch the mystery play out. The concept of anesthetic awareness is terrifying on its own, and doesn’t even need a murder mystery plot to be scary. The film translation of this notion, however, is a different story. Rather than simply try to be a pulse-pounding thriller, the movie takes itself way to seriously in its attempts to be some sort of in-depth character study and ends up becoming laughable.

While most of the cast is at least decent, Jessica Alba is… look, there’s no two ways about it: that girl should thank her lucky stars she looks the way she does, because she can’t act her way out of a paper bag. She’s like a black hole of talent which sucks the life out of every actor in a scene with her. Not that it matters, the film would be bad with or without her. I have to add though, that as a comic book and sci-fi fan, it is pretty neat to see Anakin Skywalker and the Invisible Woman in a movie together. It doesn’t save the movie, but it does offer me a glimpse of what I might see at a comic convention in 10 years.

The DVD has a few special features, including commentary with writer/director Joby Howard, deleted scenes with commentary, and a storyboard to film comparison. There’s also a little documentary entitled Under The Knife & Behind The Camera: The Making of Awake, which is exactly what it says it is, and the theatrical trailer, if that can even be considered a special feature.

Beowulf - DVD Review

2008-02-18T14:48:00.000-08:00

I first saw Beowulf during its theatrical run, and I was blown away. Of course, I didn’t just see it on a regular screen, I saw it in glorious IMAX 3D. I felt like a little kid, marveling at the shiniest new toy I had ever received. But when the afterglow died away, I was left with the lingering question: would it hold up on the small screen? Was it actually that good, or was it just the 3D and immense scope of the IMAX screen that made the film so memorable? Well, I just watched the directors cut of the film on my own television, which is considerably smaller than an IMAX screen, and does not feature any cutting edge 3D technology, and while I have to admit that some of the excitement and impact is lessened, I can still say “Yes… it is that good.”

Beowulf looks as though Rankin/Bass got together with Guillermo del Toro to remake Clash of the Titans. It’s not just an epic story, it’s THE epic story. Imagine if every action hero ever played by Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone was rolled into one man, who was then dressed by the costume designers from Lord of the Rings. And then he killed them all. That’s Beowulf. It’s like if 300 was so manly it was 600. That’s Beowulf.

The story dates back to sometime around the 11th century, and watching it, I could see that it has been a very influential tale. In this tale of a flawed hero, I saw elements of Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and King Arthur. It has, however, been altered a bit by writers Neil Gaiman and Roger Avery, so that it isn’t quite the same Beowulf you might’ve read in high school. Some depth was added to the characters and the story to make it a little more fulfilling. Do you like shapeshifters? Fire breathing dragons? Clashing swords and battle axes? Tales of battle, victory, loss and redemption? Is the sweet sound of battle like music to your ears? Then you’ll dig Beowulf. This being the director’s cut, there was a little bit more of all of these things. A little more blood, a little more gore, a little more action. A little more of what you love, if you love that sort of thing.

The animation is really amazing too. Everything has sort of a puppet-like look to it, which is why I made the Rankin/Bass comparison earlier. It’s more realistic than Shrek, but they didn’t go for a completely photorealistic style either. There’s a lot of emotion in these characters, which is partly a result of the hard work and technology utilized by the animators, but mostly due to the fantastic cast they worked with. Anthony Hopkins, John Malkovich, Robin Wright Penn… and of course, Crispin Glover as Grendel. He managed to be absolutely terrifying, yet completely vulnerable at the same time. Grendel is a monster, no doubt; but he’s a sympathetic creature that you can’t help but feel sorry for. Ray Winstone’s Beowulf is portrayed in a similar manner, a hero that you can’t help but cheer for, but with a bit of sadness inside over the sins of his past. I highly recommend it to fans of animation and sword n’ sorcery tales.

The DVD features about an hour or so worth of extras, and they’re all quite interesting. The Origins of Beowulf delves into the history of the tale and the steps it took to retell it for a modern audience. A Hero’s Journey: The Making of Beowulf, Beasts of Burden: Designing the Creatures of Beowulf and Creating the Ultimate Beowulf show every step along the path, from sketches of the monsters and costumes, to behind-the-scenes images of the stars getting used to working with motion capture technology and green screens. There’s a short bit called The Art of Beowulf, which is pretty self-explanatory and also quite amazing to view. Finally, the disc has some deleted scenes, which have not been completed, and were kind of hard to watch: but they’re there, for the folks who can’t get enough of Beowulf. And I can’t blame anyone for wanting more.

Kurt Cobain About A Son - DVD review

2008-02-11T19:16:00.000-08:00

Kurt Cobain About A Son, directed by AJ Schnack, offers a very unique and compelling look at the life of this often-misunderstood icon. The film, which debuted at the Toronto International Film Festival in 2006 and was nominated for a 2007 Independent Spirit Award, is being released on DVD in to coincide with what would’ve been Cobain’s 41st birthday.

I was very impressed with the level of intimacy this movie was able to achieve. It isn’t simply a documentary about Cobain’s life, or a few snippets from various interviews pieced together with some photographs of Nirvana in their heyday. It’s also not one of those “dead rock star” movies that attempts to deify the subject; Cobain is shown warts and all. The entire narrative of the film is Kurt’s own voice, telling his own story. Culled from over 25 hours of taped conversations recorded by journalist Michael Azerrad for his book Come As You Are: The Story Of Nirvana, Kurt fills us in on various defining moments in his life, from his beginnings in Aberdeen, Washington, to the dizzying heights of fame.

He goes into detail about his childhood, idyllic until the age of eight, then tumultuous after the divorce of his parents. He talks about being an outcast in high school, an artistic kid living in a small redneck town. He discusses rebelling just for the sake of rebelling, getting his first guitar, desperately trying to start a band, and finally making that dream happen. There’s a lot of talk about being a celebrity and the loss of privacy that accompanies it. Wanting to be a big rock star, and then wishing to God he could escape the spotlight. You basically feel like you’re sitting in your living room listening to the guy talk to you for nearly two hours about everything under the sun.

But it’s more than just that. The interviews are played over images from the three Washington cities that played major roles in Cobain’s life: Aberdeen, Olympia, and, of course, Seattle. A variety of shots from those locations, coupled with portraits of individuals who live there, give the viewer a real sense of each city’s personality. It creates a much more complete picture of each location, something an interview or photomontage on its own could not accomplish.

Then there’s the music. Obviously, you can’t tell a story about a musician without featuring some music. I don’t believe I heard a single Nirvana song throughout the entire movie. Instead, we are treated to 20 different artists who were influences on Cobain including Queen, The Melvins, David Bowie, R.E.M., Scratch Acid, The Vaselines, and oh so many more. It’s incredible, because you’ve got Kurt Cobain telling you a story about something that happened to him in Olympia, accompanied by scenes from that very city, and the music you’re hearing is the same stuff he was listening to at the time. It’s an interesting way to show a complete picture of the man, and I think it succeeds very well. At the risk of sounding cliché, it really gives us a look at life through Kurt Cobain’s eyes.

Beyond being artistically impressive, I think what I really liked about this movie was that it didn’t go out of its way to put Cobain on a pedestal or make him out to be larger than life. In fact, they do just the opposite. The focus is on Kurt Cobain, the man, rather than Kurt Cobain, the big rock god who changed the landscape of popular music. There were plenty of instances where I found myself empathizing with Cobain, especially when he recounted stories from his high-school era, but there were also a number of times when he came across as a whiny jerk, and kind of unlikable. It showed remarkable candor, and I applaud the filmmakers for this approach. At this point, 15 years after his death, the real Kurt Cobain is running the risk of getting lost inside the icon, and this movie goes a long way to rectify that. It’s a very honest and respectful tribute.

The DVD features a couple of brief interviews with the director, AJ Schnack; Michael Azerrad, the journalist who conducted the interviews with Cobain; as well as Steve Fisk and Benjamin Gibbard, the gentlemen who worked on the score. This featurette gives a nice little bit of insight to the thought processes behind the making of this film. There’s also commentary from Schnak on selected scenes, and scene-to-scene comparisons from the scouting video and the actual movie.

Medabots: The Complete First Season - DVD review

2008-02-04T14:19:00.000-08:00

In January of 2008, Shout! Factory released the latest entry in the seemingly endless line of cartoons imported from Japan featuring children who do battle with each other using tiny robots, strange animals or tiny, strange robot animals. This one is called “Medabots”, and with four discs featuring a total of 26 episodes at the low retail price of $34.95, it’s not a bad deal, if you like that sort of thing.

In this series, most children own Medabots, adorable little robots which are usually about 2 -3 feet tall and covered with a variety of weapons. Disagreements between children are not solved with fisticuffs, but rather through “Robattles” between their Medabots, with the winner receiving a Medapart (such as an arm, leg or weapon) from the defeated Medabot. The soul of these subservient little robots lies within a small metal artifact usually located in its back. Most of the Robattles are accompanied by a title screen stating the Medabot’s owner, and various statistics. It’s sort of like if Pokémon and Mega Man got together and had a baby.

Now that I’ve got that out of the way, on with the story. The show revolves around a young boy named Ikki, who dreams of being a Medabot champion, and his group of friends. Due to a recent string of Medabot thefts, Ikki’s parents won’t buy him one, so he’s forced to save up the cash and do it on his own, but all he can afford is an outdated model. Luckily, he finds a medal in a river, and he’s in business. The only problem is, the metal he’s found was recently stolen and subsequently lost by The Phantom Renegade, who seems to be some sort of criminal that looks a lot like a clown version of the guy from V for Vendetta. Ikki ends up with his very own Medabot, who turns out to be one heck of a good fighter, and unlike other Medabots, has a mind of his own and a very sassy attitude. Hijinks and adventure ensue.

While I didn’t love it, I found myself pleasantly surprised by “Medabots”. It’s not the type of show I would normally watch, and it certainly isn’t aimed anywhere near my age group. Still, I found myself chuckling at a few of the jokes, and genuinely enjoying the interaction between Ikki and his Medabot. The stories were decent, and the subplots that ran throughout the series were interesting. Now, it certainly didn’t make a convert out of me: I’m not going to rush out and buy the rest of the series. In fact, I didn’t even watch all of the episodes in this set, and I have no intention of doing so. But if you’ve got kids who are into anime, and you just can’t stand the stuff, you might find “Medabots” to be something you can enjoy together. It’s not nearly as annoying as a lot of other cartoons imported from the Land of the Rising Sun. If you’re someone who does enjoy anime, I’m guessing you’ll really dig this one. “Medabots” has a good sense of humor, interesting characters, cool-looking robots and, if I may say so, a totally rockin’ theme song.

Comedy Central Presents: The Roast of Flavor Flav

2008-02-04T14:17:00.000-08:00

In August of 2007, friends, fans and well-wishers gathered to pay tribute to former Public Enemy hype man and current reality show star Flavor Flav in the form of a roast. As the old saying goes, “With friends like these, who needs enemies?”

It’s safe to say that the man born as William Drayton is fair game for roasting. Whether working with a politically conscious hip hop group, getting arrested for narcotics possession or starring in several reality-based dating programs, everything Flavor Flav has done in his life and career has been done with a very unique (perhaps a better word might be ridiculous) style. I guess what I’m getting at is that even if you’re not a professional comedian, it’s not too hard to come up with a joke or two about a guy who wears a big clock around his neck and a Viking helmet on his head.

Luckily, Flavor Flav has a thick skin, because the jokes in this roast get pretty raunchy. Hosted by Katt Williams, the roasters included Ice-T, Jimmy Kimmel, Snoop Dogg, Greg Giraldo, Patton Oswalt, Lisa Lampanelli, Jeffery Ross, Carrot Top, Sommore and Flav’s ex-girlfriend and “Strange Love” co-star, Brigitte Nielsen. With the exception of Sommore and Nielsen, every one of the roasters delivers side-splitting laughter. Even Carrot Top is pretty funny. Yeah, I know… Carrot Top! I’ve watched this roast several times myself, and it doesn’t lose its luster with repeated viewings. This is some really good stuff.

It is not, however, for the easily offended. This DVD release is uncut and uncensored, so if you fall into the ultra-politically correct crowd, you might want to just go ahead and skip this one, and all of the Comedy Central Roasts, for that matter. Better yet, maybe you should watch them: you might learn a thing or two about not taking yourself so seriously. If there is a racist, sexist or stereotypical joke out there, you can almost guarantee someone at one of these roasts will say it. But it’s all in good fun, and every joke is told in an ironic fashion: make no mistake, these folks aren’t endorsing bigotry or stereotypes; they’re mocking them.

The beauty of the Comedy Central Roasts is that the roastmasters don’t just poke fun at the Guest of Honor, they also crack jokes about each other, and sometimes even themselves. It’s like getting 10 roasts for the price of one, and it’s awesome. I try to make it a point to tune in to all of the roasts when they air, and I haven’t been disappointed yet. And now they’re available on DVD, so I can watch them whenever I please.

Speaking of the DVD release of the “Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav”, I should probably mention the extras on this disc, though they’re hardly worth mentioning. The “Red Carpet Interviews” and “Backstage Passes” amount to little more than unedited versions of those little clips they play during the credits and between commercial breaks. Not worth watching at all. The “Flav-Cam Bonus Footage” is just Flavor Flav giving you a tour of his trailer and walking around backstage with a camera affixed to his clock. Again, not worth watching: I’ve seen home movies that are more entertaining.

While the extras are not so hot, the roast itself is everything they are not: funny, irreverent and at times even heartwarming… okay, maybe not heartwarming, but you do get a sense that some of these people actually are friends, and do have a great deal of respect for each other, despite what they may say when they’re behind the podium. At any rate, if you want to watch 73 minutes of really dirty jokes, you could do a lot worse than this roast. It’s well worth your time and money.

El Cid - dvd review

2008-01-28T03:29:00.000-08:00

If the term “Epic Film” is ever introduced into the dictionary, it should be accompanied by a reproduction of the poster for El Cid, Samuel Bronston’s masterpiece, which has finally been given the grandiose dvd release it so richly deserves.

The film, directed by Anthony Mann, was released in 1961 and stars Charlton Heston and Sophia Loren. It tells the tale of Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar, the legendary hero of Spain. This true story is set in the 11th century, and begins with Rodrigo stumbling into a battle between Christians and Moors on his way to his wedding. He takes several Emirs captive and, deciding to show compassion rather than continue the bloodshed, decides to let them go. It is this act of compassion which earns him the title “El Cid” (which means The Lord or The Leader, from the Arabic "El Seid"), because he is both a merciful lord and ruthless fighter. This act of mercy also brings charges of treason against him, and inadvertently causes his betrothed, Chimene (played by Sophia Loren) to despise him.

El Cid follows Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar throughout the rest of his days: his journey to clear his name and become the king’s champion, his exile at the hands of a corrupt ruler, and his attempts to unite Spain. It is a truly epic adventure, and the scope of this movie is nothing short of amazing. But throughout all of this, the film never loses sight of the human side of the story and the tale of star crossed lovers Rodrigo and Chemine. El Cid tells the tale of a man who became a hero, a leader, a legend and then a myth.

I didn’t want to repeat myself too much in this review, so I consulted a thesaurus to find synonyms for the word “epic”. Astronomic, colossal, prodigious and sizable were all suitable words, and none of them can truly describe this film. The scale is just plain huge, and the detail and craftsmanship are amazing. The costumes, weaponry, sets and locations are absolutely breathtaking, and become even more so when you realize there are approximately 7,000 cast members. This is long before the days of CGI, so when you see a massive battle taking place, those are all real living, breathing human beings, not computer generated images. Each and every sword, cloak, helmet and suit of armor is historically accurate and painstakingly detailed. It’s awesome.

The only downfall of this film, if it can be perceived as such, is that it was made in 1961, and as a result, the style of storytelling and especially the acting, may be considered a bit dated or over-the-top by younger viewers. If this minor detail gets in the way of anyone’s enjoyment of the film, it is simply a matter of taste, and is really the fault of the viewer, rather than the filmmakers. On a personal level, I have to say that I’m a bit disappointed in the fact that I was born 15 years after this movie was released, and never had the chance to see it on the big screen, as it was meant to be seen. This movie ranks up there with Spartacus, The Ten Commandments or Ben-Hur. It is, quite simply, a classic.

The limited-edition collector’s dvd set is just as epic as the film, which is so big, it had to be split between two discs. The discs are packaged in a really classy looking collectors case, and the film as been digitally remastered and loaded with extras. Included on the first dvd are the movie with commentary from Bill Bronston (son of producer Samuel Bronston) and Neal M. Rosendorf (historian and Bronston biographer), vintage radio interviews with Charlton Heston and Sophia Loren, still galleries and filmographies. The second disc includes the second half of the movie (with commentary), and several documentaries.

Hollywood Conquers Spain: The Making of El Cid contains interviews with the stars, filmmakers and historians regarding the movie’s production. Samuel Bronston: The Epic Journey of a Dreamer is the life story of the man who produced El Cid, along with several other epic films from the olden days of Hollywood. Also included are brief documentaries on director Anthony Mann and composer Miklós Rózsa, as well as an interview with Gerry Byrne, who had a hand in remastering El Cid for its dvd release.

Also included are several little postcard sized pictures from the film, a huge book about the making of the movie, and even a Dell Comics adaptation of the film! If you enjoy classic films of a bygone era, you will surely love El Cid, and if you are a longtime fan who has been waiting for this movie to receive a proper release on dvd, your wait is over: El Cid has arrived.

Turok: Son of Stone - dvd review

2008-01-19T21:19:00.000-08:00

The character of Turok has had a long and storied history. First published by Dell Comics in 1954, the story of a Native American fighting dinosaurs was a huge hit as the popularity of superheroes started to wane. Many years later, the character was revived by Valiant Comics, re-imagined as a hunter of bionic dinosaurs. When Acclaim Entertainment bought Valiant, Turok became the star of their best selling video game franchise.

In 2008, Turok: Son of Stone has been re-imagined yet again, this time as the star of an animated movie. With a screenplay by Tony Bedard, a long-time Turok fan and writer of the Valiant series, this version of Turok hews a little closer to the original. The high-tech equipment and bionosaurs of the more recent comics and video games have been jettisoned in favor of a more classic and respectful approach to the character.

The story begins when Turok, his brother Nashoba and female companion Catori are ambushed in the forest by members of a rival tribe. In a rage, Turock slaughters their attackers and nearly kills his own brother. Turok is banished to a desolate wilderness for his transgressions.

Fast forward to sixteen years later, and Chichak, the son of one of the men Turok killed so many years ago, has risen to prominence in his tribe. They have returned to slaughter the members of Turok’s former village. The only survivors are Catori, whom Chichak kidnaps, and Andar, the son of Catori and Nashoba. Vowing revenge for the murders of his brother and his tribesmen, Turok and Andar give chase to Chichak and wind up in the Lost Land, a savage world inhabited by dinosaurs and cavemen. Once there, Chichak finds a tribe of vicious Neanderthals to lead, while Turok, Andar and Catori are taken in by a group of Native Americans very similar to their own tribe. As Turok and Chichak prepare to do battle, Turok must learn to accept the darkness within his soul, and his destiny as a warrior.

“Turok: Son of Stone” proves that with the right people in charge, a character can be re-imagined and reinvented for a new generation of fans. Building on the classic idea of a man trapped in a lost world that time has forgotten, this story adds more depth to the character of Turok, choosing to put the focus on the man, rather than the beasts. Turok and Chichak are presented as two sides of a coin. Both are proud warriors: one seeking revenge for the murder of his father, the other for the murder of his brother. The only difference between the two is that while Turok has a great respect for life, Chichak is a ruthless killer.

The story in this film is intelligent and aimed at an adult audience, and it should be noted that this is not a children’s movie! There is a warning on the package concerning graphic violence, and it should definitely be heeded. This movie contains lots of blood, along with a few beheadings and severed limbs. It’s probably okay for older kids, but parents who are concerned about such things might want to preview it first.

Extras on the dvd include a directors commentary, and “Total Turok”, a short but in-depth look at the history of the character, and the making of the film. An interesting aspect of this documentary is the attention to detail the filmmakers paid to Native American history. They made great attempts to ensure that the weaponry, clothing and way of life shown in this film was authentic and respectful. It’s definitely worth checking out after viewing the movie.

Turok: Son of Stone was a movie that served as a great introduction for new fans, and a great retelling of a story that old-time fans have known and loved for years. I highly recommend it to both.

Cloverfield review

2008-01-17T19:24:00.000-08:00

Most of us have seen a few movies featuring, or are at least familiar with Godzilla. The sometimes scary, sometimes friendly, but almost always tongue-in-cheek monster who has repeatedly terrorized Tokyo since 1954. Godzilla (or Gojira) is a lot of fun, but have you ever really thought about what would happen if he was real? If a 200 foot tall monster actually rampaged through a big city? Have you ever considered the carnage, death and chaos that would ensue? Luckily for us, producer J.J. Abrams, director Matt Reeves and writer Drew Goddard have, and the answer they’ve come up with is Cloverfield.

Not only have they considered the real-life possibility of a giant monster wreaking havoc in a metropolitan area, they’ve also managed to find a way to make it a truly terrifying experience: by putting the viewer directly in the driver’s seat.

Cloverfield concerns a group of young adults who have gathered for a party. Their good buddy Rob is, appropriately, moving to Japan, and they want to wish him goodbye. One member of the group, Hud, has been given the task of documenting the evening on video. When the lights go out, and everyone goes outside to see New York City in flames, Hud’s role as documentarian becomes a bit more than just drunken frivolity; he is, for all intents and purposes, documenting the end of the world as they know it.

I’m not going to go any further into the plot, because I feel that you should go into this movie with an open and empty mind. You don’t need me to tell you what happens, you just need to experience it. Because of the fact that the movie is shot (or at least appears to be shot) entirely on a handheld camera, the viewer is, as I said earlier, in the driver’s seat for this experience. And as such, it truly is an experience, not simply a movie.

Cloverfield is the type of movie that has you on the edge of your seat the entire time you’re watching it. It’s very intense and unsettling. I left the movie feeling a bit stressed, breathing heavily and wanting a cigarette, as though I had just survived a particularly harrowing evening. The whole thing sort of felt like I was watching a nightmare, and in fact, there were at least three separate instances where I thought to myself “Yes, I have had that nightmare. This exact situation that the protagonists are in… I’ve been in the same situation in a dream. A bad dream.”

A big part of what makes the film so convincing is the lack of any big name actors. One of the characters looked kind of familiar, but I don’t know if that’s because I saw him in another movie, or if he just had one of those faces. It really makes the movie hit home, because you feel like these are people you could know, not some flavor-of-the-month WB actor.

There’s a lot of very 9/11-esque imagery throughout the movie, and of course, that’s done on purpose. I know there’s already been some reviewers who’ve looked negatively on this, but I don’t feel that it’s exploitative or offensive at all. Just as Godzilla was a representation of the Japanese people’s fears concerning Hiroshima, Cloverfield, as director Matt Reeves recently said, “… very much speaks to the fear and anxieties of our time, how we live our lives. Constantly documenting things and putting them up on YouTube, sending people videos through e-mail - we felt it was very applicable to the way people feel now.” That’s not to say that Cloverfield is a political movie in any way, shape or form - it just conjures up some of the same feelings of hopelessness and desperation in a crisis situation.

But beyond all of that, Cloverfield is just damn fun. It’s a big smash ‘em up monster movie with New York City in flames and carnage all around. It’s a non-stop rollercoaster thrill ride that will have you on the edge of your seat when you aren’t jumping out of it. Despite the frightening subject matter, Cloverfield is one hell of a good time. It’s quite a rush, and it’s almost cathartic in a way. It’s the sort of movie that you simply must talk about… but you can’t, because you don’t want to spoil it for anyone. (You can imagine how hard it was to write this review!) I’ve been thinking and talking about it for two days since seeing it, and I can’t wait to see it again. Cloverfield was one movie that I truly felt lived up to all the hype.

Moments With Fidel - review

2008-01-17T15:31:00.000-08:00

First Run Features has released Moments With Fidel, a rarely seen film from the Cuban Film Archive, as part of their Cuba: Paths to Revolution series. It’s a collection of archival footage which highlights some of the more important moments in the Cuban leaders lifetime, from the toppling of Batista’s imperialist regime in 1959, to present day.

I reviewed this movie hoping to learn a bit more about a subject in which my knowledge is sorely lacking. The fact that this movie was not made in America made it all the more appealing, as I knew it wouldn’t be tainted by an anti-Castro slant. I was hoping to get a more balanced look at this controversial figure than the American media typically provides. Moments With Fidel didn’t quite deliver on all counts, but it did offer a little more insight into Fidel’s motivations.

The filmmaker seemed to assume that the viewer had a decent knowledge of Cuban history. As I mentioned before, I have only the vaguest knowledge, which worked against me, as I couldn’t keep up with a lot of the information. I didn’t walk away with any more knowledge of Cuban history than I did before, but I did get to see a bit more of the personal side of Fidel Castro. Footage showcasing visits to a schoolyard does not show the vile dictator we’ve been taught about on the news. Rather, it shows a very genuine man who cares about the people and the culture of his country. Politicians can stand on a pulpit and lie through their teeth, but seeing Castro play baseball and basketball with a group of schoolkids shows both a love of the game and a free spirit. You can’t fake that.

I was also impressed with various speeches that were part of the documentary; speeches in which Castro was more than willing to admit mistakes the Party had made, and accept responsibility for setbacks which had befallen the people of Cuba. In a world where leaders are quick to pass the buck and blame everyone but themselves, it was shocking and refreshing to see this very humble behavior. Again, I walked away feeling like there’s a lot more to this man than we are usually told.

The extra features on this dvd release are three rare films. My Brother Fidel is a 1977 conversation between Fidel Castro and a 92-year old man who met Cuba’s national hero, Jose’ Marti. The First Delegate recounts the history of the Communist Party of Cuba, and Condemn Me, It Does Not Matter discusses Fidel’s role in the Moncada Assault of July 29, 1963. Once again, I felt a little lost watching these short documentaries. It seemed that a slightly more than rudimentary knowledge of Cuban history was necessary, and I was a bit lost.

Despite my lack of knowledge and mild trouble with these films, I still enjoyed them. At the very least, you will get to see another side to a man so often maligned in the American press, and perhaps learn a little something. On another note, it’s worth it just to watch Castro deliver a speech to the Cuban people. His oratory skills, even though he speaks a language I do not understand, are inspiring and captivating. I was very glad to spend just a few moments with Fidel.

The Orphanage (El Orfanato) - Review

2008-01-12T07:07:00.000-08:00

I’ve often said that everything Guillermo del Toro touches turns to gold, and “The Orphanage” is no exception. On this one, del Toro is producing, rather than directing, but one cannot help but feel his influence in terms of both style and story. That’s not a knock on director Juan Antonio Bayona, who is clearly very capable. It’s just that when you’re watching a Spanish ghost story featuring children, something just screams “del Toro!” That’s not a bad thing.

On with the review…

Laura and her husband Carlos have recently purchased the old orphanage where Laura spent her early years. They are planning to move in with their son Simón, a bright young boy with an overactive imagination. Simón often speaks of several imaginary friends , and while exploring some nearby caves with his mother, meets a new friend, Thomás.

A visit from a mysterious social worker reveals to the viewer that Simón is not only adopted, but also HIV positive, two secrets Simón himself is not aware of. Soon after, Simón reveals to his mother that he is aware of both of these facts, which were seemingly revealed to him by his imaginary friends. After an argument during a party, Simón disappears. Laura and Carlos try every method available to find him, from police investigators to psychic mediums. Along the way, they unearth many secrets about the mysterious social worker and her connection to horrors that took place at the orphanage.

I won’t go into any more detail about the plot, because I’m already afraid I’ve revealed too much. I went into this movie knowing very little, and I liked it that way. I will tell you this: director Juan Antonio Bayona has made a movie that is as touching as it is terrifying. He clearly understands that it is mood and setting that create true horror, not something jumping out of a closet and yelling “BOO!” every 15 minutes. The tension in this film builds and builds for nearly two hours, only letting up briefly every once in a while to let you catch your breath. I spent a large portion of this movie looking slightly to the left of the screen, or attempting to casually cover my eyes with my hand as I silently cursed myself for coming to see yet another scary movie… but at the same time, it was impossible to look away. Good stuff.

The performances are top notch as well. Unlike American horror, where everything must be played over the top and exaggerated, this movie revels in it’s subtlety. I’m not usually a fan of child actors, but Roger Príncep is fantastic as young Simón. I would dare say you could watch this movie without subtitles and still understand the basic gist of what’s going on, which is a testament to it’s storytelling. Of course, if you speak Spanish, you wouldn’t be reading the subtitles anyway, but that’s beside the point.

In short: if you like your horror to be a little more cerebral, and you can appreciate a tale about the bond between a mother and her child, I’ve got a great ghost story for you. It’s called The Orphanage.

Death Sentence DVD Review

2008-01-06T13:47:00.000-08:00

When the film Death Sentence was released in 2007, I was intrigued. It looked like an update (or rip-off?) of the 1974 film Death Wish, with Kevin Bacon in the lead role rather than Charles Bronson. Okay, that’s fine – a lot of movies look like rip-offs of Death Wish, because a lot of movies are rip-offs of Death Wish. That in and of itself does not necessarily make a film bad. I’ve got no beef with a B-Grade action movie, and I’ve got no beef with Kevin Bacon, so this movie seemed like it might be fun. I never did end up seeing it in the theaters, but when I had the chance to review the dvd, I jumped. I’d finally find out whether or not it had any merit.

Now here’s where it gets kind of interesting. The novel that Death Sentence is based on was written by Brian Garfield, and it’s the follow up to another hit he’d written titled Death Wish. The same Death Wish that was made into a movie starring Charles Bronson. So it’s a rip-off of Death Wish that is actually based on the sequel to Death Wish. Weird and interesting, but as it turns out, the movie left me with a deathwish about halfway through.

The film opens with a montage of home video footage of the Hume family. Father, mother and two sons. A family so disgustingly happy, you are actually hoping for their deaths by the time the opening montage is finished. Brutal, gruesome deaths… well, maybe that’s just me and I’m just sick. At any rate, the older son is clearly the golden child, handsome and bright and excellent at hockey, while the younger son just falls of his bike a lot.

While stopped at a gas station on the way home from a hockey game, Nick Hume (Kevin Bacon) witnesses his son’s murder at the hands of a violent gang of thugs. Now, you can tell these guys mean business, because they all have tribal tattoos on their necks and/or faces. Real bad mamma-jammas. It’s not even a mugging or a robbery, it’s an initiation ritual for the youngest member of the group. In the ensuing scuffle, Nick unmasks the murderer and subsequently identifies him in a lineup a day or two later.

Realizing that the law will not grant him the justice he deserves, Nick refuses to testify against his son’s murderer, deciding to enact his own brand of vengeance. One cliché leads to another, and Nick ends up killing the guy, which sets off a chain reaction of revenge between the surviving members of the gang, including the slain criminal’s older brother and father, and Nick’s own family. Lots of bullets, lots of knifings, lots of bullet dodging. These guys are terrible shots.

The film plays a lot on the whole “protect your family” theme, and the idea that violence only begets more violence. An eye for an eye, and all that. It’s actually a pretty neat concept, and I can imagine that on paper, this seemed like a good idea, but in reality, it’s just a very run-of-the-mill shoot ‘em up. Like I said earlier, I’ve got no beef with a solid B-Movie, and I don’t mind a cliché or seven thrown in for good measure. Hell, “Lone Wolf McQuade” is one of my favorite movies. But this flick, despite a few good action scenes, just doesn’t bring anything new to the table, and it’s barely worth watching.

What it does bring to the table is bad acting and homage after homage to Taxi Driver and the Saw films, which happened to be directed by the same guy that directed this film (the Saw films, not Taxi Driver). There’s a scene after the older brother’s death in which the family, who at this point are apparently not able to speak above a whisper, all lie in bed crying and listening to some crappy Sarah McLachlan song. Yeah, seriously. It doesn’t just tug at your heartstrings, it attempts to forcibly remove them, but in the end, you just end up laughing at it.

The DVD includes both the theatrical release and an unrated cut of the film. My review is based on the unrated version. Who knows, maybe the tamed down theatrical cut tamed down some of the lameness as well? Might’ve been worth checking out. The extras featured on this disc are: Making A Scene, a mini-documentary originally shown on the Fox Movie Channel, detailing how director James Wan shot a particular action sequence. Since the action sequences are the best parts of the film, this was actually worth watching and far more interesting than the movie. An episode of the Fox Movie Channel’s Life After Film School and a bunch of webisodes are also included. The former being something of a “poor man’s Inside The Actor’s Studio” hosted by three film students, and the latter being a bunch of little behind-the-scenes vignettes which appeared on the movie’s website. Again, both proved to be far more interesting than the film itself.

In the end… if you’re lying around the house on a Sunday afternoon with nothing better to do and Death Sentence comes on the tube, go ahead and watch it. I’ve definitely seen worse movies in my lifetime, and the action sequences in this one are pretty decent. Just be sure to get up and make yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when the action stops and people start to talk.

Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore Review

2008-01-06T09:41:00.000-08:00

Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, starring Ellen Burstyn, was directed by Martin Scorsese and released in May of 1974. It's a good flick, and Burstyn took home the Oscar for Best Actress for her performance.

Here's the movie in a nutshell: (there's a spoiler or two here, but the movie is 30 years old, and anyway, it's nothing you can't figure out by reading the back of the box) This lady Alice is married to this guy Don, who is a domineering jerk. He dies and Alice and her 11-year old son, a young snotty jerk, hit the road and try to make it to Monterey, California, where Alice hopes to rekindle her singing career. Along the way, she makes a pitstop or two, briefly hooks up with another guy who ends up being abusive, played by a very young Harvey Keitel, and ends up in Tucson, Arizona. There, she finds true love with Kris Kristofferson and gets a job as a waitress at Mel's Diner, working with a sassy lady named Flo and a nutjob named Vera. If the last part sounds familiar, it's because this movie was the inspiration for the tv show Alice. More on that later...

The tagline for the movie was "A movie for anyone who has ever dreamed of a second chance", and that pretty much sums it up. Alice begins the movie in a pretty bad spot, being totally subservient to a husband who is emotionally unavailable and very short tempered. She spends most of the movie chasing the dream of a singing career in Monterey, shown in an idyllic childhood scene at the beginning of the film, and after some hard times and bad luck (and a bit of advice from Flo), she ends up feeling pretty good about herself and life in general. She doesn't give up her dream, but she does stop running away from her problems, and starts a new life with a pretty cool guy.

The writing in this movie is top notch. None of the dialogue or situations felt forced, and all of the characters were very believable. They felt like people I've worked with, went to school with and am related to. That being said, I found Alice to be a bit of a drama queen at times, and her son was a snot-nosed brat. But were they real? Oh hell yeah... Every performance was perfect.

The main reason I rented the movie was that I grew up with fond memories of the CBS televison series Alice, which ran from 1976 to 1985. Kris Kristofferson's character wasn't in the tv show, but in an interesting turn of events, Vic Tayback played Mel in both the movie and the series, and Nancy McKeon's brother Phillip was Alice's son. I've seen the show recently, and frankly, it doesn't really live up to my memories... it's a lot like Monterey was to Alice, just a childhood dream that can never really be relived. One thing that does hold up is the theme song. Download it if you can, or pick up one of those tv theme compilations - it's one of the best tv themes from the golden age of tv theme songs, second only to the end credits from The Incredible Hulk.

Lastly, I'll leave you with another bit of bizarre trivia. The character of Flo was eventually spun off into her own tv show and replaced by Diane Ladd, who played Flo in the movie! Ladd played Belle, who didn't last long, and was replaced by yet another southern waitress named Jolene, who often mentioned her distant relative, J.D. "Boss" Hogg... yes, that Boss Hogg. How weird is that?

(to be fair though, I should mention that I got that Boss Hogg info from Wikipedia, which is known to be wrong from time to time)

Anyway, any review/article/blog about Alice would be incomplete if I didn't say "Kiss My Grits" at least once.

So there you have it.

Beowulf: The 3D Imax Experience Review

2008-01-06T09:39:00.000-08:00

I'm lucky enough to be blessed with an IMAX theatre just a few minutes down the road. Last night, I took in Beowulf: The 3D IMAX Experience. All I can say is "Holy Crap!"

If Rankin-Bass and Guillermo del Toro did a moving pop-up book version of Clash of the Titans, it would be Beowulf.

Remember the first time you saw The Matrix? Or Lord of the Rings? Or even Final Fantasy? Imagine somehow seeing them all at the same time... that's sort of what Beowulf felt like.

If every action hero that Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger ever played was rolled into one, and that one character slaughtered everyone in The Chronicles of Narnia... that's Beowulf.

If 300 was even more manly... so manly that it was 600... that's Beowulf.

It was just a great roller coaster thrill ride. I know that sounds cliche', but what else can I say? The new 3D technology is nothing short of breathtaking, and this was the perfect movie for it, to say nothing of the fact that I saw it on a screen 10 times larger than most peoples imagination. If you do not have an IMAX theater in your area... please, do yourself a favor and at least see it in 3D. It's the only treatment this movie deserves, and you owe it to yourself. It's not just a movie, it's an experience.

If studios are worried about slumping ticket sales and threatened by dvds, then they should release more movies (at least, more action movies) in 3D. This will put people in theaters. I walked out of that movie last night pledging to see every movie ever released in 3D, even if they looked like the sucked! Hell, you could put Beaches in 3D, with Bette Midler's snarling horse face bigger than life and twice as ugly, and I'd probably still enjoy it. (gosh, I hope Bette Midler never reads this blog - my face would be so red!)

Anyway... back to Beowulf. I've read a few reviews that dogged the story, saying that the movie is all sizzle and no substance. Bull. Those people are raving lunatics. No, it isn't the most complicated story I've ever heard of, but here's the thing - it's not just an epic action tale, it's THE epic action tale. This story dates back to sometime between the 8th and 11th century, if it's still around after all this time, clearly it's got something going for it. Not to mention, if it's that old, odds are it's going to seem a little simple to our 21st century tastes. No, there's not a lot of crazy plot twists or surprises, it's just a good old-fashioned honest epic. There's nothing wrong with that.

The animation (if that's really the right word) is amazing. There's a lot of emotion in these characters, partly because the cast is freakin' fantastic, partly because the CGI/rotoscoping/whatever it's called captured their performances so well. Crispin Glover as Grendel is absolutely heartbreaking and terrifying at the same time. The only thing that kind of took me out of the movie a bit was Angelina Jolie as his mother. Her performance was fine, but ... well, you could kind of tell that the king was Anthony Hopkins, and you could sort of see that John Malkovich was the king's advisor, but Grendel's mother just looked like a monster with Angelina Jolie's face plastered on it. Not that I don't like looking at a naked Angelina Jolie with a scorpion tail, mind you... but like I said, it kind of took me out of the movie a bit.

Long story short - it's awesome. If you like action and sword n' sorcery tales, you've really got no excuse for missing this movie. Go see it, and for god's sake, see it in 3D!

The Watcher in the Woods Review

2008-01-06T08:45:00.000-08:00

As a young lad, holidays were always a special treat at school, because it meant we got to have a party or watch a movie rather than do actual schoolwork. One such movie was Disney's The Watcher in the Woods, which, to my fourth-grade sensibilities, was the most terrifying film ever made. I recently had the opportunity to revisit the proverbial scene of my adolescent trauma. Would it hold up after all these years? Would it be as mystifyingly scary to me as an adult as it was as when I was a child? Or would it just feel like a long episode of Goosebumps guest starring a decrepit Bette Davis? Turns out it was a little of both.

The story centers around two sisters who begin having strange premonitions and seeing visions shortly after their family moves into an old mansion in the country, owned by the elderly Mrs. Aylwood (Bette Davis). It turns out that the eldest girl, Jan, bears a striking resemblance to Mrs. Aylwood's daughter Karen, who disappeared 30 years ago during a séance of some sort.

Visions of a blindfolded girl crying out for help begin to haunt Jan more and more frequently, and she just can't shake a feeling of dread every time she goes near the woods surrounding the old house. Now, I'm not the type to give away the entire plot of a movie, but in a spoiler-free nutshell, clues begin to surface regarding Karen Aylwood's mysterious disappearance and the ominous presence in the woods, but her childhood friends, who seem determined to keep the secret under wraps, continually rebuke Jan’s detective work.

Do we ever learn the story behind Karen's disappearance? Just who or what is the Watcher in the Woods, and how does it all tie in to the solar eclipse? Well, you'll have to see the movie to unravel that mystery, but I can tell you this - it's worth your time to find out.

Okay, it's a 1980 live-action Disney "horror" movie. That should sort of clue you in regarding the film's quality, but if it doesn't, I'll give you my two cents - it ain't bad, but it ain't a masterpiece either. Having done a little research into the film, I uncovered a tale of many rewrites and reshoots, which led to the film's somewhat ambiguous ending. In this case though, I actually think it might work in the movie's favor. As an adult, I see the film as being sort of odd, and not making complete sense. As a kid though, I felt like there was a lot more going on that my brain could fully comprehend, and it actually made the movie even creepier. The movie is, after all, made for kids.

And yes, it is pretty creepy for a Disney movie. I may be a bit of a scaredy-cat, but there were a few instances that were somewhat frightening, and the overall mood was one of tension and supernatural terror. All in all, I'd say that if you've got any nostalgic feelings towards this movie, go ahead and rent it, you'll probably be pleasantly surprised. If you've never seen it before, but have younger kids who are just getting into scary movies, this is probably a good choice for them as well.

The Simpsons Movie Review

2008-01-06T08:43:00.000-08:00

I probably don't really need to write a review for this movie. Most likely you're either going to see it or you're not. Reviews and critiques aren't likely to change your mind. But for those of you who might be on the fence, I'll offer my two cents.

I'm a longtime Simpsons fan. I've been watching the show for eighteen long years now, and I even have a Hellfish tattoo. Yeah, I'm that geeky. I hate to be one of those stuck-up snobs who throws his nose in the air and says, "The Simpsons isn't as good as it used to be," but let's face it, it certainly ain't what it used to be. In my opinion, the show lacks the heart it once had and seems to have been simply going through the motions for the past few seasons. Yes, I still think it's one of the best shows on television, but that's partly because I think 90% of what's on television sucks. Anyway, I'm getting off track here, back to the movie. Luckily for us crotchety old nerds, the movie is a lot more Season 8 and a lot less Season 18.

I won't get too into the story, 'cause I don't want to give anything away, but it's worth seeing whether you're a longtime fan, or if you've never watched the show in your entire life. It's funny, it's (somewhat) touching, it'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry. Well, it probably won't make you cry, but there were a couple of scenes with Homer and his pig that made me laugh so hard tears flowed freely.

It's not perfect by any means - there are times when you feel you're watching a true epic, the movie version of The Simpsons and there are times you feel like you're just watching a really long episode. Because you are. Homer even mocks the viewer at one point, asking why anyone would pay money to see something they can watch for free on tv. Hey, that's just how we do.

Anyway, there you have it. The Simpsons Movie: well worth the price of admission for curmudgeonly old fans and new fans alike.

Dracula A.D. 1972 Review

2008-01-06T08:39:00.000-08:00

"Past, present or future, never count out The Count!" This was the tagline for Dracula A.D. 1972, regarded by many as the worst of the Hammer Dracula films. Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing reprise their roles as Count Dracula and Professor Van Helsing in this groovy update of the Dracula mythos.

The film opens with a flashback of sorts to 1872. Van Helsing and Dracula do battle on an out-of-control stagecoach, and both men end up dead. Flash forward 100 years to "modern day" England, and a group of hippies looking for kicks. Well, their kicks just keep gettin' harder to find, and all their kicks ain't bringin' them piece of mind... naturally, they decide to participate in a black mass, led by the newest member of the group, the suspiciously named Johnny Alucard.

Johnny's not out to raise the devil, but he manages to resurrect the long-dead Count Dracula. As fate would have it, one of the members of the gaggle of hippies turns out to be Jessica Van Helsing, the great-great grandaughter of the very same Professor Van Helsing who managed to slay Dracula 100 years ago. The Count makes his comeback, the slaughter begins, and Jessica's grandfather, another Professor Van Helsing, has to save the day. All of this amidst the psychedelic backdrop of swingin' 70's England.

I know a lot of folks, Christopher Lee included, think this movie is a turd, and it's not hard to see why. One gets the impression that the so-called "hip slang" the kids use was already dated by the time the movie was released, and compared to the other films in the Hammer series, this one is more than a bit lacking. Still, one has to respect a movie in which a 60-year-old man has to pull a bunch of hippies' fat out of the fire after they resurrect the Lord of Vampires.

The thing is, despite its faults, this movie is a lot of fun. It still has that gothic Hammer style that I love so much, and it's also got that cheesy 1970's wanna-be cool style that I love even more. I recognize that my tastes may not be shared by everyone, so I'll bring up the most important point - it has Christopher Lee as Dracula and Peter Cushing as Van Helsing. These men, in these roles, can do no wrong. No disrespect to Bela Lugosi, but for my money, no one can touch Christopher Lee's portrayal of The Count. Granted, he is woefully underutilized in this film, only appearing in a handful of scenes, but his presence is still felt. Cushing, of course, is suave and debonair as the anthropologist/vampire hunter.

Throughout a lot of this movie, I felt like I was watching the film version of the Marvel Comics' 1970's Tomb of Dracula title. It's more than just a bit cheesy, and strays a tad into the ridiculous, but by no means do I consider either of those things to be negative. If you share those sentiments, then maybe you'll find this movie to be a good time. If you like your horror movies gory and deadly serious, this probably isn't the film for you.

The Mist Review

2008-01-06T08:37:00.000-08:00

The Mist has long been a favorite among Stephen King fans, including myself. Coming in at 133 pages, it is a short novel, or a novella, by most authors’ standards. By King standards, it's simply a long paragraph. At any rate, it's a beloved tale, and was a highly anticipated movie. Finally released in 2007, it was adapted for the screen and directed by Frank Darabont, who is no stranger to Stephen King adaptations, having handled directorial duties on both The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile.

The story takes place in a small New England town that has been enveloped in a mysterious, monster-filled fog after being hit by a vicious thunderstorm the night before. Our hero, commercial artist David Drayton, heads to the local grocery store with his young son to pick up some supplies to help them make it through what will undoubtedly be a few days without power. While at the store, a local shows up frantically warning the other townsfolk about "something in the mist." It doesn't take long for the monsters to show themselves and the chaos to begin. Naturally, Mrs. Carmody, the town cuckoo, is in the store, and her belief that the biblical Armageddon is upon them slowly but surely whips the survivors into a frenzy. The film becomes a race against time for David and the few remaining rational people in the store, as the danger begins to mount from both inside and outside the store.

The movie reminded me a lot of the old Twilight Zone episode "The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street," in which an unexplained power outage leads to paranoia and eventually to outright hysteria, with neighbor pitted against neighbor. It's one of my favorite Twilight Zone episodes, and the idea that in a crisis situation, ignorance and fear are often the greatest threats, is handled well by Darabont. It's sort of like Lord of the Flies with a bunch of big, nasty multi-tentacled bug monsters. As social commentary, The Mist is pretty good. As a horror movie, however, it's somewhat lacking.

Thomas Jane basically sleepwalks his way through this role. At no point in the film was I suitably convinced that he gave a damn about his son, or for that matter, anyone else in the grocery store. He seemed to be simply reading his lines, adding a tiny bit of inflection here and there. The rest of the cast was better, especially Nathan Gamble as Drayton's young son Billy. I mean, all the kid really does is whimper and cry through the whole movie, but he does it quite convincingly.

The Mist is not really a very scary movie either. Now, I'm the type of person who gets scared pretty easily, it took me three viewings before I could watch The Descent without covering my eyes with my hand, and don't even ask me about The Exorcist, so if I tell you a movie isn't scary, it just isn't scary. Despite the fact that the store is surrounded by a fog so thick you could cut it with a knife, and that fog is filled with freakish creatures from another dimension, there just isn't really a whole lot of tension, save for the scenes with the crazed religious mob. Now, I understand that Frank Darabont was trying to make a point here, and that the movie is more about the monsters inside than the ones outside. Still, I think he could've tried to make the ones outside a little more threatening, or at least made me jump a little bit.

In conclusion, The Mist is not a great movie, nor is it a bad movie; it's just sort of there. I will say that I enjoyed it, and I'd definitely give it a thumbs-up, but it's the type of flick that is probably better seen as a matinée, or perhaps when it hits your local discount theater.

In short, I'd describe it as "The best made-for-tv movie ever made, that just happened to end up on the big screen."For fans of the book, yes, there have been a few alterations, but none so major that it's worth getting riled up about. The ending has been changed quite a bit, but to be totally honest, I thought the ending of the movie was actually better.

Underdog DVD Review

2008-01-06T07:13:00.001-08:00

A favorite of children and grownups alike for nearly 50 years, Underdog finally made his big screen debut in 2007 with a live-action film from Walt Disney pictures. While it’s not exactly what I’d call a grand success, it’s sure to please the under 8 set and maybe even put a smile on a few adult faces as well.

The story begins in Capital City, where we see our hero in his humble beginnings as a police dog. He’s not a very good one, as he leads his masters to a ham which he mistakes for a bomb. Shunned by his co-workers (a trio of German Shepards), he quits the force and begins a life on the streets. He is quickly abducted by Cad, the henchman of Simon Barsinister, a mad scientist who specializes in genetic manipulation. A madcap chase around the lab, coupled with a chemical spill and an explosion leads to the little dog gaining superpowers. He quickly escapes and is found by Dan Unger (played by Jim Belushi), an ex-cop who names the dog Shoeshine and takes him home to his son, hoping that their relationship, strained since the death of Dan’s wife, can be rekindled.

As it turns out, Shoeshine not only has superpowers, but he can also speak English. He forms a bond with the boy, Jack, who eventually convinces him to use his powers for good while Shoeshine convinces Jack to give his dad another chance. One shrunken sweater and torn towel later, Underdog is born and with him, a crimefighting legacy. The rest of the film basically consists of a very generic plot that feels like it’s been recycled from a million previous children’s movies. I’m sure that if left to your own devices, you could probably figure it all out by reading the back of the dvd box. In fact, I’m sure that if you put 20 monkeys in a room filled with typewriters, eventually they would come up with the Underdog plot. It’s not too original.
That’s not to say it’s a bad movie. I’m a 31-year old man. If I was a 7-year-old boy or girl who didn’t realize how derivative this film was, I’m sure I would find it to be very entertaining. I’m not a parent (yet – I’ve got one on the way in a couple months), but if I had a child who had an attention span long enough to sit still for an 80-minute movie, I would have no problem sitting down with them to watch this one. It’s certainly not offensive in any way, and it’s actually got a few decent, if clichéd, jokes. And honestly, who doesn’t love talking animals? Especially talking animals in little red sweaters and capes.

I would definitely recommend Underdog to any parent of young children, and to any adult who can set their standards fairly low and just enjoy a good talking dog/superhero movie.
The dvd also features a bloopers, deleted scenes, a rap video that I didn’t watch, a little documentary about the dog who played Shoeshine/Underdog, and an episode of the old tv series.

Jackass 2.5 Review

2008-01-06T07:11:00.000-08:00

When it was announced that Paramount Pictures and MTV would be making the latest offering from Johnny Knoxville & Co. available for free download, I was intrigued. It was an interesting way to promote a movie, and I certainly wanted to check it out for my review. Unfortunately, I was caught in the middle of a winter storm and my internet was knocked out all weekend. Lucky for me (and you), I received a copy of Jackass 2.5 in the mail, so I was able to watch it after all.

Before opening the package, the question entered my mind: Do I actually need to review this movie? Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past eight years, you know the cast of the Jackass tv show and films, and if you know who they are and what they’re all about, you already know whether or not you want to watch this movie. I’m not going to convince you that you want to watch a bunch of drunks hit golf balls off of tees perched precariously in their buttholes. If you want to watch these guys fill squirt guns with urine and shoot them at each other, my negative review will do nothing to stop you from doing so. You either like Jackass or you don’t, there isn’t usually much of a middle ground. People generally fall into two camps, those who find the Jackass boys to be humorous and those who find them to be… well, a bunch of jackasses.

The story behind Jackass 2.5 is that they filmed tons of footage for Jackass Number 2, and this is the leftovers. The stuff that didn’t make the cut for a variety of reasons. Actually, as far as I can tell, there’s only two reasons. One is that a lot of this stuff just isn’t that funny. It’s a lot of rehashed jokes that you’ve seen before, or jokes that just didn’t deserve to be in the movie. You pick the best skits for a theatrical release, and the stuff that isn’t good enough gets recycled as a dvd extra or, in this case, another, not-quite-feature-length, movie.

The other reason a lot of this material didn’t make the movie is that it’s really disgusting. I mean, disgusting even by Jackass standards. There’s more puking in this movie, more flatulence, more accidental (and intentional) pooping and more nutsacks in this movie than in any other Jackass movie, and this one is only an hour long!

While it is the most hit-or-miss of the Jackass films, when it hits, it hits hard. I’m not going to act like I didn’t laugh out loud on more than one occasion (but to be fair, I had been drinking… which is probably the preferred state of mind when watching a movie like this). It was pretty cool and somehow very appropriate to see the boys in India with the man who holds the Guinness World’s Record for the longest fingernails. It was even cooler to see Steve-O drink beer poured over that man’s 50-year-old growths, and then throw it all back up. I mean… that’s entertainment! We also got to glean a little insight from Johnny Knoxville concerning his love of the “old man” character he often plays. It’s the only time he can go out in public without being recognized and pull some pranks like he used to back in the old days.

Long story short, it goes like this: If you like Jackass, you’ll like this movie. You probably just won’t like it quite as much as all the other Jackass stuff that came before it.

The dvd features a Making of Jackass 2.5 feature, which is basically the same movie, but told in a slightly different way. Sort of like the Richard Donner cut of Superman II, the only major difference being that in this film, you get to see the star peeing on the director. There’s also a Making of Jackass: The Game, which shows how the guys did some motion-capture stuff for their upcoming video game, which actually looks pretty fun. A lot of work went into making sure the game captured the essence of the show.